On the Importance of Good Habits

August 27, 2011

My Dear Rishi,

I could not speak to you as your grandmother was rushing out to vote...Hopefully I can speak to you tomorrow morning.

Recently, I came across an interesting quote by Benjamin Franklin on, "Good Habits".

  "Your net worth to the world is usually determined by what remains after your bad habits are subtracted from your good ones."

As I was pondering on this quote I remembered something my grandfather taught my brother and I on the importance of good habits in a very interesting but practical way.

My grandfather's backyard was filled with various fruit trees, vegetable plants and flowering plants. As an agriculture officer, he had an amazing  garden from terms of diversity as well as design. During our summer holidays, we used to spend our time with him. Our arrival was very eagerly anticipated by our grandparents especially by our grandmother. She would make all kinds of sweets for us.

It was during one such holidays in 1978, both  my younger brother and I were playing in his backyard while grandfather was removing some weeds. He called both of us, asked us to help him with pulling out few weeds. As we were happily removing the weeds, he suddenly stopped me and asked me to pull a small plant with deep roots. I struggled but I was able to uproot them. Then he pointed me to pull out a fully grown Papaya tree. I started laughing and said to grandfather there is no way I could uproot the tree with my bare hands.

He smiled and asked my brother and I to sit down and said something like this...(I don't remember every word but I got the essence of what he said), " Our habits are like this if at a very young age we form good habits, they become like a big trees roots go deep and get established and thus, become the foundation of our character and our destiny. Good habits will guide us and shape us for life.  However, if you let bad habits establish like a tree than it will ruin you. It is really important for the health of the garden and also the garden of your life do not let bad habits take root or establish. Identify the bad/negative habits early in your life and remove them before they become established.  Nurture the good, the positive and always cultivate good habits in garden of your life. Be the constant gardener and always be vigilant against the bad/negative things in your life. You may not be able to avoid them sometimes but recognize them and do not let them establish in your life. Don't become slave of your bad habits. Be the master of your life's garden".

Love you Rishi. I look forward to speaking to you tomorrow.

With Lots of love, hugs and kisses,

Daddy

Living in the Present

August 19th, 2011

My Dear Rishi,

I have been trying to reach you and no one is answering the phone :( .

This month has been very interesting and amazing. Sometimes we carry on with our lives and suddenly a door opens and there you are suddenly confronted with your past. This has happened to me on couple of other occasions. I have always pondered about what does it mean and why? For the first time in my life, I learned its true meaning yesterday. Sometimes your past is presented by life in your present to see how you deal with it, have you learnt anything from your past. I have learned that you need to accept and acknowledge your past without running away from it.  From this vantage point, once you accept your past and than you need to accept  and embrace the present i.e. what is in front of you today. Just fall in love with "What Is?". When you argue with your present by living in the past than there is confusion, anger, frustration, pain and suffering. Pain is a choice, suffering is optional. Let go of your past, live in the present. The past will not serve your present.

Today's story is about, "Living in the Present".

Two friends were traveling by train. One was very nervous, restless and full of complaints the whole trip. He was impatient to reach his destination, and disliked every moment of the trip because he had a bad experience in the past. He did not pay attention to his surroundings, as his mind was full of impatient, restless, angry, his past and grumpy thoughts.

His friend, who also had bad experience in the past while travelling,  this time however, enjoyed the scenery, drank a cup of coffee, ate a piece of cake and chatted with the other passengers. He enjoyed every moment of the trip. He lived in the present moment and made the most of it. On arrival he was fresh and felt good. His friend, as expected, arrived exhausted, tired and unhappy.

It is a matter of the right attitude. Life becomes a happy and enjoyable trip when the attitude toward it and its events is positive, and the present moment is used in the best possible way. 

Rishi, please remember the following three points for your life:

1. Remember, the present moment is very brief. It always turns immediately into the past. The future has not happened. Live in the present!

2. Past is a History, Future is a Mystery, Today is all you have, hence it is called "THE PRESENT". So enjoy your present, love.

3. Refuse to relive the past. Change the tape in your mind!
    Enjoy the present moment!
    Find the positive, good and useful in each moment!

I miss you Rishi and I love you very very much

With Lots of Love, Hugs and Kisses,

Daddy.

Love in Action

13 August, 2011

My Dear Rishi,

It was fun talking to you today for about 25 minutes. You were telling me about your birthday and you also said, " I love you daddy and  I miss you". Rishi I miss you and love you. There are times I just want to fly to Singapore and live close to you or you can live with me so that we are closer to each other.. On Aug 8th, I did CN tower edgewalk. CN tower is the tallest free standing structure in Canada, at any given time 6 people go up to 356 meters up in an elevator, walk out and walk around 150 meters of circumference of the tower on a 1.5 meter grilled platform.  It was awesome...here are couple of pictures for you.

Today's story is a true story from Mother Teresa. Rishi, Mother Teresa was an amazing lady, I hope someday you get to read about her. At this point all I can say is her life is the message for humanity.

Love in Action

-By Mother Teresa

One night a man came to our house and told me, “There is a family with eight children. They have not eaten for days,” I took some food and I went. When I finally came to the family, I saw the faces of those little children disfigured by hunger. There was no sorrow or sadness in their faces, just the deep pain of hunger. I gave the rice to the mother. She divided it in two, and went out, carrying half the rice with her. When she came back, I asked her, “Where did you go?” She gave me this simple answer, “To my neighbors-they are hungry also.” I was not surprised that she gave–because poor people are generous. But I was surprised that she knew they were hungry. As a rule, when we are suffering, we are so focused on ourselves we have no time for others.

Rishi, when we focus too much on ourselves especially when we are suffering or sad or heartbroken,  we start wallowing in our misery and suffering. At times like this one needs to reach out and help others. Just like the lady in this story did.

Your mother had given me a small gift to me in 2001 for my birthday. It is a chapter from Bible it reads something like this  " Love is patient, Love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. LOVE NEVER FAILS.... Rishi, I have lived and will continue to live rest of my life according to these words.   Love is not just a word, it is a Verb- Love is Action.

Love you Rishi and miss you,

Daddy

A Box of Kisses

Aug. 07th, 2011

My Dear Rishi,

This week you will turn five, once again I will not be there for your birthday. You are growing up so fast and I miss watching you grow up. There are times I just want to drop everything in this world and be  with you.  Rishi have a wonderful birthday and  hope you get to keep the gifts I sent to you. God bless you Rishi, as a father my wish for you is to be always happy and remember. Even though I am so far from  you I love you and miss you. You are always in my thoughts and prayers.  Today's story is called A Box of Kisses.

A Box of Kisses



A man punished his 3-year-old daughter for wasting a roll of gold wrapping paper. Money was tight and he became infuriated when the child tried to decorate a box to put under the Christmas tree.
Nevertheless, the little girl brought the gift to her father the next morning and said, “This is for you, Daddy.” He was embarrassed by his earlier overreaction, but his anger flared again when he found the box was empty.
He yelled at her, “Don’t you know that when you give someone a present, there’s supposed to be something inside it?”
The little girl looked up at him with tears in her eyes and said,”Oh, Daddy, it is not empty. I blew kisses into the box. All for you, Daddy.”
The father was crushed. He put his arms around his little girl, and he begged for her forgiveness.
The man kept that gold box by his bed for years and whenever he was discouraged, he would take out an imaginary kiss and remember the love of the child who had put it there.

In a very real sense, each of us as humans have been given a gold container filled with unconditional love and kisses from our children, friends, family and God. There is no more precious possession anyone could hold.

Rishi, I miss you and love you very much sweetheart...God bless you!

With lots of love, hugs and kisses,

Daddy.

P.S: Have a fantastic birthday :)