On Children

My Dear Rishi,

Another week of not being able to speak to you...I tried calling you few times. Day before yesterday, we spoke briefly and you requested me to call you later, I tried but no one answered. Hopefully, we can talk this weekend..Sometimes in life we have to play the cards we have been dealt with.

This week's poem is by Kahlil Gibran. I love his writing specially his collection of poems in a book called, "The Prophet".  One of my all time favourite is called, "On Children". I love this poem from so many reasons. It is for all the parents to realize that, parents are nothing but custodians of this precious god's gift. Some parents tend to become overbearing, over protective, manipulative all in the name of "love". It is so sad, such parents give bad name to the word "parent". How sad is this! Of all the people you may understand this when you grow up one day.

On Children

And a woman who held a babe against her bosom said,

Speak to us of Children.

And he said:

Your children are not your children.

They are the sons and daughters of Life's longing for itself

They come through you but not from you,

And though they are with you yet they belong not to you.

You may give them your love, but not your thoughts,

For they have their own thoughts.

You may house their bodies but not their souls,

For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow, which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams.

You may strive to be like them, but seek not to make them like you.

For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday.

You are the bows from which your children as living arrows are sent forth.

The archer sees the mark upon the path of the infinite, and

He bends you with His might that His arrows may go swift and far.

Let your bending in the archer's hand be for gladness;

For even as He loves the arrow that flies, so He loves also the bow that is stable.

Rishi, the above poem is so profound if we parent's truly live each word, we would treasure god's gift to humanity -our children as caretakers whose only duty to is to raise them with love and understanding that one day we have to let them go into the universe, where we parents don't belong. We are truly god's facilitators and such we must do our duty.

I love you Rishi, and miss you very much. It has been more than a month since we talked for more than five minutes. Hope this weekend we can talk for an hour.. I can't wait to talk to you this weekend love.

With lots of love, hugs and kisses,

Daddy

The Dash

My Dear Rishi,

We could not talk last week for more than 15 seconds. Hope we can talk for bit longer this coming weekend.

I came across the following poem in 1998, it changed my life and gave me a whole new perspective in life. Hope it may also help you too some day.

The Dash

by Linda Ellis

I read of a man who stood to speak
at the funeral of a friend.
He referred to the dates on her tombstone,
from the beginning…to the end.

He noted that first came the date of her birth
and spoke of the following date with tears,but he said what mattered most of all
was the dash between those years.

For that dash represents all the time
that she spent alive on earth.
And now only those who loved her
know what that little line is worth.

For it matters not, how much we own,
the cars…the house…the cash.
What matters is how we live and love
and how we spend our dash.

So, think about this long and hard.
Are there things you’d like to change?For you never know how much time is left
that can still be rearranged.

If we could just slow down enough
to consider what’s true and realand always try to understand
the way other people feel.

And be less quick to anger
and show appreciation more
and love the people in our lives
like we’ve never loved before.

If we treat each other with respect
and more often wear a smile,remembering that this special dash
might only last a little while.

So, when your eulogy is being read,
with your life’s actions to rehash…
would you be proud of the things they say
about how you spent YOUR DASH?

Rishi, we all have choice how we can fill our "DASH" in that lies our freedom. Hope,your DASH is filled with love, light, compassion, joy,kindness and understanding.

I love you and miss you very much.

With lots of love, hugs and kisses,

Daddy

Your Birthday

My Dear Rishi,

Once again we could not talk on the weekend. However, I enjoyed our ten minutes conversation on your birthday last week. I missed being with you but I was consoled knowing you were happy and received the gifts I sent including the Transformer's Bumble bee costume. I wish I could see you wearing the costume... I wrote the following poem for you on your birthday.

Your Birthday

Your birthday takes me back to the day when you were born,

Like a little angel you opened your eyes in my arms, you showed me what was true beauty in this world.

You looked at me and your look was so divine, so pure and so beautiful,

Even in the darkness, your bright eyes shined and there was a spark.

Today when I look at you, I see the same shine and spark,

They say face is the index of mind, eyes are the windows to your soul.

Son, thank you for showing the beauty you hold within your eyes, your heart and your soul.

May you always be blessed to keep the shine and the spark alive in your eyes.

As I hold you dearly in my heart and you hold me in yours.

May the love in our hearts always keep us closer where ever we are

Heart to heart though miles apart my love for you will never part.

Happy Birthday to you son! God bless you. Remember you are loved.

You are precious child of this universe and I love you son.

Rishi, I am delighted you had a good time on your birthday and god bless you son. I love you and miss you very much.

With lots of love, hugs and kisses.

Daddy

Anyway: The Paradoxical Commandments

My Dear Rishi,

We could not talk this weekend although I heard your voice briefly.

Today, I wanted to share with you The Ten Paradoxical Commandments. Rishi, I first came across these ten paradoxical commandments when I started my university. I bought some peanuts near the university and the peanuts were rolled in this paper which had the ten paradoxical commandments typed. It is amazing when you you are open to life and learning, opportunities just pop up, I believe there is a Buddhist saying which very eloquently expresses what I am trying to say here, "When the student is ready, the master appears". I had kept that piece of paper for longest time and than I finally wrote it in my diary. Once again I came across the same commandments when I was reading Mother Teresa's biography. Third time, I got the same message in an email. This poem has had a profound affect on me. Every time I come at cross roads in my life this poem appears. This happened again, when  I was browsing a book store, I saw a book called, " Do It Anyway" By Kent M. Keith. I immediately recognized the Ten Paradoxical Commandments, finally I knew the original author of these ten commandments was.  Till than every where I read, the author was anonymous.

I bought the book, "Do It Anyway"  and read it the same night.  I learned that Kent Keith wrote these commandments in 1968 while attending Harvard as an undergraduate student. He discovered that his inspirational words had taken on a life of their own, it was quoted by politicians and celebrities and in more than 6000 websites. These inspirational words appeared on the wall of Mother Teresa's children's home in Calcutta. In 1997, when Mother Teresa passed away the author found out that these commandments were on Mother Teresa's children's home in Calcutta. Thirty years after he wrote the Ten Commandments, and finding out Mother Teresa had this on her wall in Children's home (Sishu Bhavan) made a huge impact on the author. He ended up writing this book, "Do It Anyway".

Anyway: The Paradoxical Commandments

By Kent M. Keith

1. People are illogical, unreasonable, and self-centered.

Love them anyway

2. If you do good, people will accuse you of selfish ulterior motives.

Do good anyway

3. If you are successful, you will win false friends and true enemies.

Succeed anyway

4. The good you do today will be forgotten tomorrow.

Do good anyway

5. Honesty and frankness make you vulnerable.

Be honest and frank anyway

6. The biggest men and women with the biggest ideas can be shot down by the smallest men and women with the smallest minds.

Think big anyway

7. People favour underdogs but follow only top dogs.

Fight for a few underdogs anyway

8. What you spend years building may be destroyed overnight.

Build anyway

9. People really need help but may attack you if you do help them.

Help people anyway

10. Give the world the best you have and you'll get kicked in the teeth

Give the world the best you have anyway

Rishi, I have made an attempt to live my life by following these paradoxical commandments  ever since I read them. It has given me inner peace, taught me hope, to persevere, to face adversity with understanding and compassion and last but not the least, acceptance about transient nature of humans.  Hope you find these paradoxical commandments helpful in your life.

With lots of love, hugs and kisses,

Daddy