Finding Happiness

My Dear Rishi,

It has been more than four months we have had a decent conversation. I miss you love.

I came across an interesting short story about "Finding Happiness".

Finding Happiness

Author Unknown

Once a group of 50 people were attending a seminar.  The speaker suddenly stopped speaking and started giving each person a balloon. Each one was asked to write his/her name on the balloon using a marker pen. Then all the balloons were collected and put in another room.  After sometime all the delegates were let in the room with balloons with their names on it and asked to find the balloons with their names. At the end of five minutes no one could find balloons with their own names. 

The speaker,  asked the delegates to randomly collect a balloon and give it to the person whose name appeared on the balloon. Within five minutes everyone had the balloon with their own names. 

The speaker began, this is exactly what is happening in our lives.  Everyone is frantically looking for happiness all around, not knowing where it is. Our happiness lies in the happiness of other people. Give them their happiness, you will get your own happiness.

And this is the purpose of human life. 

Rishi, may you always find happiness and joy in your life as you give me so much joy and love.  

I love you and miss you Rishi.  My happiest moment is to see you always smile, your infectious laughter

With lots of love, hugs and kisses,

Daddy

Why We Shout In Anger?

My Dear Rishi,

It has been it has been almost three months since we have spoken. I know this shall too pass someday. Till then I will hope, pray,  send you love and positive energy.  By the way in my last letter I promised to share Honey's 13th birthday photo.  Here you go love:

Today, I was looking through some old folders and I came across an interesting article on anger.

 

Why We Shout In Anger?

 

A Hindu saint was visiting river Ganges to take bath, found a group of family members on the banks, shouting in anger at each other. He turned to his disciples smiled and asked,

 " Why do we people shout in anger at each other?"

Disciples thought for a while, one of them said, "Because we lose our calm, we shout". 

But why should you shout when the other person is just next to you? You can as well tell him what you have to say in a soft manner, asked the saint.

Disciples gave some other answers but none satisfied the other disciples. Finally the saint explained, "When two people are angry at each other, their hearts are apart quite a distance. To cover that distance they must shout to be  able to hear each other to cover that great distance"

 

What happens when two people fall in love? They don't shout at each other but talk softly. Because their hearts are very close. The distance between them either non-existent or very small.  The saint continued, "When they love each other even more, what happens? They do not speak, only whisper, they only look at each other and that's all. That is how close to two people are when they love each other". He looked at the disciples and said, " So when you argue do not let your hearts get distant. Do not say words that distance each other more. Or else there will come a day when the distance is so great that you will not find the path to return."

 

 

Rishi, I hope and pray one day my love for you will over come the distance, years of negativity you have been exposed to.  I love you very much and miss you son. Let a father's love for son dissolve the years of bitterness and negativity, let our hearts connect and let there be no distance between us. This Rishi, as a father is my hope.

 

I love, all the way from here to Singapore to Moon and all the way back.   God bless you son!

 

 

With lots of love, hugs and kisses.

 

 

Love,

 

Dad

 

Your Attitude

My Dear Rishi,

How are you my love? I have been wondering how you are doing in school? What are you learning in your school? What are you reading these days?

Today after a long day at work, I decided to pick up a book and read for couple of hours. As I was reading, one thing became evident for me is that our attitude is very important in life. Life is not about what happens to us but how we deal with it inspite of what happens to us.  I still remember May of 2014 when I was about to leave Singapore. We both were very sad. But you composed yourself and said, "Daddy let's take a Happy Picture". It pretty much captures the essence of great attitude you have love. I hope and pray you continue to have the same spirit and attitude through out your life.

 

Your Attitude
By David Viscott

Your attitude shapes your world.
When you intimidate others, you live in a fearful world.
When you are sad, you bring out the hopelessness in others.
When you express support, you live in other's affection.

When you act like a child, you evoke a parental attitude.
When you act like a parent, you inspire both rebellion and helplessness.
When you act dependent, you invite others to abuse you.
 They resent you for smothering them.

When you act controlling, you lead people to use you.
They think you have it coming for treating them unfairly.
When you act competitively, others want to beat you for putting them down.

Your attitude creates obstacles that you have to overcome and all your luck breaks.
No one wants to help a braggart, and everyone wants to repay the person who makes him or her feel good.

The person who makes you feel good is free, has no need to control or own you, can admire your achievements without envy, and can be giving without expecting anything in return.

Your pattern of choices becomes your attitude. When you choose to hold in feelings, you become bitter. When you are expressive, you become free.

Being free is letting others be free.
In this world you get what you give.

The best way to summarize this letter to your and demonstrate the importance of attitude, I would like you to watch this video.    

http://www.bbc.com/news/magazine-31098225

 

Rishi, may you have a wonderful attitude, may you have a wonderful life, may your life be a beacon for others, may your attitude reach every dark corner of this humanity and light up.

 

I love you very much and miss you. I love you from here all the way to the Singapore, to the moon and back. Love, I miss you so much!

 

 

With lots of love, hugs and kisses,

 

Daddy.

 

P.S;  Honey celebrated her 13th birthday on Feb. 11th.  I will add her picture in the next letter. 

Crazy

My Dear Rishi,

It has just been over 19 months since I last wrote this blog. As you may or may not remember lot has happened since then.

After loosing both my parents within a year I have been mourning their loss and I was not in right space to put my thoughts and words. Just as I was trying to come to terms with their loss, I experienced a different kind of sadness and void.

It has been over two months since we have had a conversation. I was in Singapore to visit you just before  Christmas. I spent a week hoping and waiting to see you, talk to you, hug you, laugh with you and spend whatever precious little time your mother would let me be with you. Rishi,the entire time I was in Singapore I was not able to meet you or see you or spend time with you.   I called you every day and try to talk to you, one of the days, you briefly spoke to me in anger and I asked you why are you angry and why you cannot see me, all you said was " I don't know why, but I cannot see you? I don't want to see you ever or talk to you again for rest of my life?".   Rishi, I am not even aware of what is happening in your life that you are so angry at me.  I cannot even fathom the pain you are in that you have continue to lash out whenever I call you and try to have a conversation. I am truly sorry for your pain, love. When I met you in May you wanted to be with me. What happened?

I only hope and pray for you to find peace love. I love you and miss you very much.   Recently, I was praying to help me understand your pain, your anger and I came across following piece of writing. This helped me to heal my sadness to some extent understand what you may be experiencing.  I am sharing this with you, hoping some day you will read this and hope, you will let go of your pain.

 

Crazy

By David Viscott

 

Being crazy is holding on to pain.

The greater the time elapsed between the hurt and expressing it, the crazier you are.

Unforgiven hurt fuels angry fantasies that make you doubt yourself and infect your thinking with unspeakable retaliation, bad dreams, and an uneasiness of the soul.

You feel especially crazy when you doubt your goodness, for then you're always lost and the center of your life no longer holds.

The time you seem craziest to others is when you vacillate before making a decision.

Crazy is being torn between two masters, two conflicting ideals.

"Can I be for myself without alienating and risk loosing your love"?

You never feel more crazy than when people lie to you.

And when people lie about loving you, they hurt you the most.

Being crazy is not knowing what to believe.

There is no imprisonment worse than being bound to a crazy person, for then you can only be real by paying a price.

The way to become crazy is to try to please everyone at all the time.

The only freedom from craziness is telling the truth.

 

 

 

Rishi I love you very much and miss you. Rishi, I hope and pray one day you realize you need to be courageous and seek out the truth for yourself. When you do, my love, I would suggest you re-read this letter to you, believe in yourself and believe that:

 

Only my voice can tell my truth.

Only my truth can heal my world.

 

I ask God, the Universe to let my prayers, healing thoughts,my unconditional love reach you and you feel them soothing you.  I love you so much. 

 

 

Rishi all I wanted to be in this world is to be your dad, nothing else mattered, no other titles...The following video sums up my feelings.

 



https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_C5bkQTiv6Y

 

 

Rishi I love you all the way from here to Singapore to moon and back.  I miss you son.

 

God Bless

 

With lots of love, hugs and kisses

 

Dad

 



Father's Day 2013

My Dear Rishi,

Hope you are doing well. It has been more than a month since we have talked, I called many times and there has been no answer.

May 12th, 2013-Singapore

It has been six years since we have celebrated father's day together. This is the first year I did not even get to talk to you. Rishi, God bless you son wherever you are,  may you always be happy, healthy,  have lots of fun, be safe,  let there be always abundance of love in your life.

Rishi, I played your message the one you recorded  for me when I was in Singapore countless number times today Thank you my love for your heartfelt message.   Here is your message:

Rishi, sometimes you may find life too confusing, complicated and frustrating. Things may not make sense or don't fall in place, people around you may appear to be mean and cruel, self-centered and selfish.  Sometimes you feel like screaming at the world and saying "WHY ME"? At least that's how I felt like today when I could not speak to you. I sat down took a deep breath and meditated for few minutes to calm myself down.

There was a sudden clarity and I received following message love:

1. Look back and Thank God.
2. Look forward and Trust God.
3. Look around and Believe in God
4. Look within yourself and find God

Rishi this is my message for you for Father's Day.  I love you all the way from here to the moon and back. I miss you.

With lots of love, hugs and kisses.
.
Daddy
 

Just a Little Smile

My Dear Rishi,

This journey of writing of this blog started on May 24th, 2011 and I can't believe, it has been two years. Hopefully, some day you come across this blog and read these letters. Hope, you may find some answers in these letters  and hopefully give you a glimpse about your father apart from what you have been told.

You may at times wonder why I talk about compassion, love and forgiveness. You may ponder, "if these values have any place in this word"? Especially, when there are some elements in our society who will take advantage of these qualities.  I have learned end of the day one has to live with oneself irrespective with what we do. My mom used to say all you have is control over your actions and no one else.If our actions are from a place of love, compassion and forgiveness, you will sleep peacefully. Over the years I have learned that , "Life is nothing but 10% of what has happens to us and rest 90% is how we react to it?"  Lastly, I came across a brilliant quote, earlier this week which very eloquently captured what I wanted to say to you in this letter.  Here is the quote by, L.R. Knost:

"It's not our job to toughen our children up to face a cruel and heartless world.

It's our job to raise children who will make the world a little less cruel and heartless."

 

 My only, hope, wish and prayer for you and your generation is that you all together have made this world a little less cruel and heartless Rishi. Your name also means "Ray of First Light", my prayers, hope and wish is that you can be that beacon of light.

 

 

Today''s story is called,

 

 " Just a Little Smile"

Author: Unknown

 

 

Mark was walking home from school one day when he noticed the boy ahead of him had tripped and dropped all of the books he was carrying, along with two sweaters, a baseball bat, a glove and a small tape recorder.  Mark knelt down and helped the boy pick up the scattered articles. Since they were going the same way, he helped to carry part of the burden. As they walked Mark discovered the boy's name was Bill, that he loved video games, baseball and history, and that he was having lots of trouble with his other subjects and that he had just broken up with his girlfriend

.

They arrived at Bill's home first and Mark was invited in for a Coke and to watch some television. The afternoon passed pleasantly with a few laughs and shared small talk, then Mark went home. They continued to see each other around school, had lunch together once or twice, then both graduated from junior high school. They ended up in same high school where they had brief contacts over the years. Finally, the long awaited senior year came and then the graduation week.   Bill was the class valedictorian and he was asked to give a speech on the graduation day.

  

Bill confidently, walked to the podium and started his speech by thanking Mark. He paused and asked,  "Mark, do you remember the day years ago when we met for the first time while walking home? Did you ever wonder why I was carrying so many things home that day?" Bill, went on, " You see, Mark, " I cleaned out my locker because I didn't want to leave a mess for anyone else. I had stored away some of my mother's sleeping pills and I was going home to commit suicide. But after we spent some time together talking and laughing, I realized that if I had killed myself, I would have missed that time and so many others that might follow. So you see, Mark when you picked up those books that day, you did a lot more. You saved my life! Thank you my friend. There was a standing applause as Bill finished his speech.

 

Rishi, Mark's compassion saved Bill's life and  in turn Mark found a good friend for life.  Everyone in this world is at some level or other are struggling through life. Sometimes all it takes is, "just a little smile,compassion and kindness" you can not only  transform some one's world but also your own life.

 

I hope, pray and wish you are blessed with a compassionate and kind heart, love.  God Bless you Son!

 

With lots of love, hugs and kisses,

 

Daddy

 

P.S: I love you all the way from here to the moon and back times two, love.  Miss you!.

 



A Wise Woman's Stone

My Dear Rishi,

I was looking forward to speaking to you last weekend and I could not reach you.

This week's story is a very interesting story, which I found very appropriate for developing a compassionate heart. Hope you see the beauty in the story.

 

The Wise Woman's Stone

Author Unknown

 

A wise woman who was travelling in the mountains found a precious stone in a stream. The next day she met another traveler who was hungry, and the wise woman opened her bag to share her food. The hungry traveler saw the precious stone and asked the woman to give it to him. She did so without hesitation. The traveler left, rejoicing in his good fortune. He knew the stone was worth enough to give him security for a lifetime. But a few days later he came back to return the stone to the wise woman.

 

"I 've been thinking" he said "I know how valuable the stone is, but I give it back in the hope that you can give me something even more precious. Give me what you have within you that enabled you to give me something more precious. Give me what you have within you that enabled you to give me the stone.

 

Rishi, the only the thing I can think of is that this woman's compassionate heart is the most precious which enabled her to part with the precious stone.  Developing a compassionate heart is more important than any riches in the world.

 

Hope, I can speak to you before you go for your holiday's.

 

With lots of love, hugs and kisses,

 

Daddy