The Crown on Your Head

My Dear Rishi,

Today we spoke for about twenty minutes and you told me two stories.  One story was about The Fox, the Tiger and the Elephant and the second story you told me was about A lion and the Naughty boy.  You were very creative in making up your stories, what I really liked was, for the second story you came up with a moral too...Brilliant! sweet heart.

Today I read you story from Nancy Tillman's book....

The Crown on Your Head

By. Nancy Tillman



(This picture is from our first Christmas together)

On the day we met and I put you to bed,

I noticed a crown on the top of your head.

It was made up of sparkling, glimmering things

like moonlight and fireflies, and dragonfly wings.

As the days came and went,

it was faithful and true....

and it grew right along the rest of you.

I always knew just what you meant crown.

It said that you are MAGNIFICENT.

(That means you are grand from your toes to your chin.

Take a deep breath, and let that sink in.)

That's about as high as a word can climb!

That's the top of mountain...

a steeple chime.

That's over the moon in a nursery rhyme...and it means, like a star,

YOU WERE BORN TO SHINE,

(Blink three times and ...there you are!

You are twinkling, little star!)

In other words, from your very first day,

you were chosen to glow in a very big way!

With your crown made of glittering, high-flying things,

you've got wind in your pocket, your wishes have wings.

You can run like you mean it...., so, let the wind blow...

There's no telling how high you can go!

Whatever it is you choose to do,

no one can do it exactly like you.

Ride on the big slide! And if you fall down,

remember your glorious, marvelous crown.

It won't flicker or fade. It won't dime. It won't leave.

ALL YOU HAVE TO DO IS BELIEVE.

Do you, my child? I hope that you do,

The world is a wonderland waiting for you.

And you get to share it with all your friends, too!

They each have a crown that is faithful and true.

No one's brighter, no one's duller

It's only a crown of a different color.

So sometimes, just every now and then whisper "I believe" again.

Your crown is your best friend forever, by far.

It tells the true story of just who you are.

That's why every night, when I put to bed,

I'm careful to kiss the crown on your head.

A Note From Your Crown

I'm made out of magic, most people can't see

(which is really quite clever, if you should ask me).

But if you ever you're worried and really must know,

you can tell that I'm there by the warmth of my glow.

Press your hand to the top of your head.

Feel me? Okay. Put your worries to bed.

You are loved.

I love you and miss you Rishi. Just can't wait to see you, hold you, hug you...

With lots of love, hugs and kisses,

Daddy



The Carrot, an Egg, and the Coffee bean

My Dear Rishi,

It was fun talking to you for an hour and I enjoyed you telling me stories about Gorilla and Elephant, Tortoise and Hyena and other stories.  You also sang a Happy Song. We did additions, multiplications and subtractions. You are really good Rishi, daddy is proud of you

Today's story is about how to deal with adversity or trials and tribulations that life presents us.

A young woman went to her mother and told her about her life and how things were so hard for her. She did not know how she was going to make it and wanted to give up. She was tired of fighting and struggling.

It seemed that, as one problem was solved, a new one arose. Her mother took her to the kitchen. She filled three pots with water and placed each on a high fire. Soon the pots came to a boil. In the first, she placed carrots, in the second she placed eggs, and in the last she placed ground coffee beans.

She let them sit and boil, without saying a word. In about twenty minutes, she turned off the burners. She fished the carrots out and placed them in a bowl. She pulled the eggs out and placed them in a bowl. Then she ladled the coffee out and placed it in a bowl. Turning to her daughter, she asked, "Tell me, what do you see?"

"Carrots, eggs, and coffee," the young woman replied. The mother brought her closer and asked her to feel the carrots. She did and noted that they were soft. She then asked her to take an egg and break it. After pulling off the shell, she observed the hard-boiled egg. Finally, she asked her to sip the coffee. The daughter smiled as she tasted its rich aroma. The daughter then asked, "What does it mean, mother?"

Her mother explained that each of these objects had faced the same adversity - boiling water - but each reacted differently. The carrot went in strong, hard and unrelenting. However, after being subjected to the boiling water, it softened and became weak.

The egg had been fragile. Its thin outer shell had protected its liquid interior. But, after sitting through the boiling water, its inside became hardened! The ground coffee beans were unique, however. After they were in the boiling water, they had changed the water.

"Which are you?" the mother asked her daughter. "When adversity knocks on your door, how do you respond? Are you a carrot, an egg, or a coffee bean?" Think of this: Which am I? Am I the carrot that seems strong but, with pain and adversity, do I wilt and become soft and lose my strength? Am I the egg that starts with a malleable heart, but changes with the heat? Did I have a fluid spirit but, after a death, a breakup, or a financial hardship, does my shell look the same, but on the inside am I bitter and tough with a stiff spirit and a hardened heart? Or am I like the coffee bean? The bean actually changes the hot water, the very circumstance that brings the pain. When the water gets hot, it releases the fragrance and flavour.

If you are like the bean, when things are at their worst, you get better and change the situation around you. When the hours are the darkest and trials are their greatest, do you elevate to another level? How do you handle adversity? Are you a carrot, an egg, or a coffee bean?

Rishi, we all have choice, either to become BITTER or BETTER while dealing with life's trial's and tribulations. In my personal experience, if we operate from a place of Ego (Edging Good Out), Selfishness and Self-centered one will always become bitter whereas if we act from a place of Empathy, Understanding and Compassion, one will always become a better person.

Love you Rishi, miss you sweetheart...

With lots of love, hugs and kisses,

Daddy

Whereever You Are my love will find you

My Dear Rishi,

It was fun talking to you for an hour this morning, wow!!! I enjoyed our conversation, you were full of spunk and fun. You sang Bob the builder song. I love you and miss you Rishi, just cant' wait to see you soon enough..

Last week I read you  from Nancy Tillman's book. You said you liked it....Today I will write what I read to you..The title of the book is, "Wherever You Are my love will find you". Love is the greatest gift we have to give our children. It's the one thing they can carry with them each and every day. It is every child's birth right to receive the love from both parents. In my simplistic way of thinking, I believe that children are here in this world not because they wanted to be here but because of their parents wanted them in the first place. We as parents owe our children the fundamental right of giving the "Gift of Unconditional Love" and not take away the right of one parent or the right of the child from receiving love from both the parents.

Wherever You Are my love will find you

By Nancy Tillman

I wanted you more than you ever will know,

so I sent love to follow wherever you go.

It's high as you wish it. It's quick as an elf.

You'll never outgrow it...it stretches itself!

So climb any mountain...climb up to the sky!

My love will find you, My love can fly!

Make a big splash! Go out on a limb!

My love will find you. My love can swim!

It never gets lost, never fade, never ends...if you're working...

or playing...or sitting with friends.

You can dance 'til you're dizzy...paint 'til you're blue...

There's no place, not one, that my love can't find you.

And if someday you're lonely, or someday you're sad,

or you strike out at baseball, or think you've been bad...

Just lift up your face, feel the wind in your hair.

That's me, my sweet baby, my love is right there.

In the green of the grass... in the smell of the sea...in the clouds floating by...

at the top of a tree... in the sound crickets make at the end of the day...

"You are loved. You are loved. You are loved," they all say.

My love is so high, and so wide and so deep, it's always right there, even when you're asleep.

So hold your head high and don't be afraid to march to the front of your own parade.

If you're stil my small babe or you're all the way grown, my promise to you is you've never alone.

You are my angel, my darling, my star...and my love will find you, wherever you are.

Rishi, I love you and miss you sweetheart...looking forward to talking to you again....

With lots of love, hugs and kisses,

Daddy.







An Obstacle in Our Path

My Dear Rishi,

Finally, after two months we spoke today for 15 minutes. I was so happy to hear your voice, you said I love you Daddy. Rishi, your voice and what you said was music to my ears love.

Earlier in the week it was Halloween. Halloween is celebrated in Canada & US, on October 31. On this day children go out to play trick-or-treat. They dress up as ghosts, witches,princess, cartoon characters or other characters and visit homes in their neighborhood. They ring doorbells and, when someone answers, they call out "trick-or-treat". This means that they hope to receive a gift of candy or other snacks and that they are threatening to play a trick if they do not get anything. Usually, they receive a treat and tricks are rarely carried out.

About 100  kids from my neighbourhood showed up at my place for Trick & Treat. I had about 3 kgs of candies and I gave all the candies. The kids ranged from 3 years to 12 year old. It was so much fun just watching them and I wished you were here with me. . I really missed you Rishi, I wish you were here, we would have gone for trick & treat. You could have dressed up as a Batman.

When I was about 9 my mommy told me this story. This was one of my favourite stories as a kid. I wanted to share this with you Rishi.

An Obstacle in Our Path

In ancient times, a King had a boulder placed on a roadway. Then he hid himself and watched to see if anyone would remove the huge rock. Some of the king's wealthiest merchants and courtiers came by and simply walked around it. Many loudly blamed the King for not keeping the roads clear, but none did anything about getting the stone out of the way.
Then a poor farmer came along carrying a load of vegetables. Upon approaching the boulder, the farmer laid down his basket of vegetables and tried to move the stone to the side of the road. After much pushing and straining, he finally succeeded. After the farmer picked up his load of vegetables, he noticed a purse lying in the road where the boulder had been. The purse contained many gold coins and a note from the King indicating that the gold was for the person who removed the boulder from the roadway.

The farmer learned what many of us never understand! Every obstacle presents an opportunity to improve our condition.

Rishi, in life as you grow up you will face many obstacles, you will always have a choice, a choice to accept obstacles and do nothing about it and give up or face the obstacles and over come them. I learnt my lesson when i was attending a scouts camp in IX grade.  We were being trained to climb a small hill. It was rather overwhelming for us . One of my teachers said, use the outcrops of rock which a appear like obstacles to get a foot hold and climb the hill. I never forgot the lesson I learned from that experience as I was able to relate to this story my mommy used to tell me.  Although, I did not find gold coins, I received a badge  for successfully climbing a steep hill. The biggest take away for me was to learn to use the obstacles on my path to pull myself  to the top and never let obstacles faze you or keep you down. This experience also taught me how to connect the dots that is the story my mommy used to tell me with words of my teacher i.e. using the obstacles to get a foot hold. This is really important skill, I learned this and developed it through out my life.

Next week I will write the story I read to you today during our call.

With Lots of Love, Hugs & Kisses,

Daddy

A Story of Light: A Message for Diwali

My Dear Rishi,


Hope you had a wonderful Diwali with your mom, grand parents & your cousins.  I hope you received the gifts I  sent you along with new clothes. I called you on Diwali day and again today, but could not talk to you. I feel bit sad that we could not talk, it has been long time.....Hope someday we can connect, talk and spend rest of our lives together.


 I had a dream that I wrote following message for you on Diwali day. Now I am turning my dream into a reality for you Rishi.The title of the story is, "A Story of Light: A Message for Diwali"

A Story of Light: A Message for Diwali

Discovery of fire was a turning point for humanity. Prior to this, humans survived the long nights in darkness, cold and living in fear of wild animals and sometimes each other. Humanity could not wait for the break of dawn.The discovery of fire changed all this. We  learned to use fire to cook our food, build new tools, clear jungles to cultivate and most important, fight darkness with light. As we evolved humanity learned to tame the fire and use it in lamps to illuminate their homes, paths etc. Today we have mastered the ability bring light to the darkest corners of our physical world. I would call this triumph of humanity and fight darkness with light.
Something interesting was happening to humanity during this quest to overcome darkness with light. We won the fight against the physical darkness but our hearts and minds were slowly but surely were turning into one of the darkest corners on earth. This darkness in the heart and mind was slowly destroying families, communities and also nations. Although, humans have triumphed against physical darkness the internal darkness was tightening the noose around humanity's so called proverbial neck. Today, we are blinded by the lights we have created to fight the physical darkness that we can't even see the darkness that is taking hold within our hearts and minds. .


Rishi, as you know Diwali is festival of lights. Diwali always falls on a new moon day We light lamps to drive the darkness away and bring the lights in to our homes, neighbourhoods. Lighting the lamps is very symbolic and it also has deeper meaning. It is the day when we drive away the ignorance , negative thoughts, anger, hatred, jealousy by illuminating our hearts with loving light, compassion, understanding and love.  Our human heart and mind is very unique from that perspective, at any given moment we can hold only one feeling or thought in our hearts and minds, never two opposing thoughts can never coexist together at the same moment. It is either the negative or positive and never both at the same time. On Diwali day, I make a choice of not only illuminating my heart and mind with positive light but also with hope, gratitude, love and compassion. My message for you Rishi, is very simple for this Diwali, every day of your life and for every Diwali that is yet to come...

Let's burn our resentments, not just fireworks...
Let's light our hearts and minds, not just lamps
Let's feast on gratitude, not just on sweets and savoury
Let's gift praise, not just gifts
Let's clean our hearts, not just our houses

With lots of light, love, hugs and kisses,

Daddy

P.S: I miss you Rishi ..

An Elephant and the Six Blind Men

My Dear Rishi,

Hope you had a great week love.  It has been close to two months since we spoke or you said anything to me. I understand where this is coming from.

When I was in Grade 2 or 2nd Standard,  the very first chapter of our English text book was the story of, "Elephant and the Blind Men".  It is a very interesting story because it shows you how we humans just look at one small part or aspect of life and judge the whole. We get hold of some piece of information and jump to conclusions about the whole, which on its own may be truth but not the whole truth.

An Elephant and the Six Blind Men

Once upon a time, there lived six blind men in a village. One day the villagers told them, "Hey, there is an elephant in the village today."

They had no idea what an elephant is. They decided, "Even though we would not be able to see it, let us go and feel it anyway." All of them went where the elephant was. Everyone of them touched the elephant.

"Hey, the elephant is a pillar," said the first man who touched his leg.
"Oh, no! it is like a rope," said the second man who touched the tail.
"Oh, no! it is like a thick branch of a tree," said the third man who touched the trunk of the elephant.
"It is like a big hand fan" said the fourth man who touched the ear of the elephant.
"It is like a huge wall," said the fifth man who touched the belly of the elephant.
"It is like a solid pipe," Said the sixth man who touched the tusk of the elephant.

They began to argue about the elephant and everyone of them insisted that he was right. It looked like they were getting agitated. A wise man was passing by and he saw this. He stopped and asked them, "What is the matter?" They said, "We cannot agree to what the elephant is like." Each one of them told what he thought the elephant was like. The wise man calmly explained to them, "All of you are right. The reason every one of you is telling it differently because each one of you touched the different part of the elephant. So, actually the elephant has all those features what you all said."

"Oh!" everyone said. There was no more fight. They felt happy that they were all right.

The moral of the story is that there may be some truth to what someone says. Sometimes we can see that truth and sometimes not because they may have different perspective which we may not agree too. So, rather than arguing like the blind men, we should say, "Maybe you have your reasons." This way we don’t get in arguments.

Rishi, one of my teachers in school used to always say, "An argument is an exchange of ignorance, ignorance about each others perspective,  whereas a discussion  on other hand is an exchange of intelligence". I hope you learn to discuss rather than argue.

On a personal note, " You can choose to be happy or right. In this choice lies your freedom. Guess who taught me this wisdom, your mommy love :). Yes your mommy.

On 26th, it is Deepavalli (festival of lights)., Wish you the very best and Happy Deepavalli. May your life always be blessed with lights, happiness and joy, love,  I have sent you some clothes and gifts and hope you like them love.

With lots of love, hugs and kisses..I miss you so much..

Love,

Daddy.

A Dog's Purpose (from a Six year old)

My Dear Rishi,

I called you on the weekend, once again you did not want to talk to me, love. I love you and I miss you sweetheart.

The past weekend I did not do much on Saturday other than read books. On Sunday, I ran a workshop. It was fun, I enjoy teaching. Today's story is called, "A Dog's Purpose". When I was about 11 years old, one day my grandfather asked me, " Do you know why dogs have more friends than humans? I thought for a moment and replied, because dogs are more friendly. My grandfather replied that is good but here is another reason as to why dog's have more friend's than humans ....."The reason why dog's have more friends than humans is because dog's wag their tongue less and tail more"

Here is an amazing story called, "A Dog's Purpose (from a Six year old")

I was sent this via email today, and I found it an amazing reminder to cherish the one we love and enjoy the life we have. I don't know who wrote this story, but thank you.

Being a veterinarian, I had been called to examine a ten-year old-Irsih Wolfhound named Belker. The dog's owners, Ron, his wife Lisa, and their little boy Shane, were all very attached to Belker, and they were hoping for a miracle. I examined Belker and found he was dying of cancer. i told the family we couldn't do anything for Belker, and offered to perform the euthanasia procedure for the old dog in their home.

As we made arrangements, Ron and Lisa told me they thought it would be good for six-year old Shane to observer the procedure. They felt as though Shane might learn something from the experience. The next day, I felt the familiar catch in my throat as Bleker's family surrounded him. Shane seemed so calm, petting the old dog for the last time, that I wondered if he understood what was going on. Within a few minutes, Bleker slipped peacefully away.

The little boy seemed to accept Belker's transition without any difficulty or confusion. We sat together for a while after Belker's Death, wondering aloud about the sad fact that animal lives are shorter than human lives.Shane, who had been listening quitely, piped up, "I know why". Startled, we all turned to him. What came out of his mouth next stunned me. I'd never heard a more comforting explaination. It has changed the way I try and live.

He said, "People are born so that they can learn how to live a good life, like loving everybody all the time and being nice right?" The Six-year old continued.

Live simply.

Love generously

Care deeply

Speak kindly.

Remember, if a dog was the teacher you would learn things like:

When loved ones come home always run to greet them.

Never pass up the opportunity to go for a joyride

Allow the experience of fresh air and the wind in your face be pure Ecstasy.

Take naps.

Strech before rising..

Run, romp, and play daily.

Thrive on attention and let people touch you.

Avoid biting whne a simple growl will do.

On warm days, stop to lie on your back on the grass.

On hot days, drik lots of water and lie under a shady tree.

When you're happy, dance around and wag your entire body.

Delight in the simple joy of a long walk

Be loyal.

Never pretend to be something you're not.

if what youiwant lies buried, dig until you find it.

When someone is having a bad day, be silent, sit close by, and nuzzle them gently.

ENJOY EVERY MOMENT OF EVERYDAY!

Rishi, I love you..Hope, we all can learn from dogs and other animals. They are more wise than us humans. Rishi, Honey sends you lots of love and kisses, to this day she always plays with your little tiger (you used to play with it and the stuffed dog in the picture above Honey is holding, you both used to play tug of war with the toy). If I ask Honey to get Rishi's toy, she will bring the stuffed tiger or this stuffed dog. She remembers you.

Love,

Honey and Daddy.

.