On Children

My Dear Rishi,

Another week of not being able to speak to you...I tried calling you few times. Day before yesterday, we spoke briefly and you requested me to call you later, I tried but no one answered. Hopefully, we can talk this weekend..Sometimes in life we have to play the cards we have been dealt with.

This week's poem is by Kahlil Gibran. I love his writing specially his collection of poems in a book called, "The Prophet".  One of my all time favourite is called, "On Children". I love this poem from so many reasons. It is for all the parents to realize that, parents are nothing but custodians of this precious god's gift. Some parents tend to become overbearing, over protective, manipulative all in the name of "love". It is so sad, such parents give bad name to the word "parent". How sad is this! Of all the people you may understand this when you grow up one day.

On Children

And a woman who held a babe against her bosom said,

Speak to us of Children.

And he said:

Your children are not your children.

They are the sons and daughters of Life's longing for itself

They come through you but not from you,

And though they are with you yet they belong not to you.

You may give them your love, but not your thoughts,

For they have their own thoughts.

You may house their bodies but not their souls,

For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow, which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams.

You may strive to be like them, but seek not to make them like you.

For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday.

You are the bows from which your children as living arrows are sent forth.

The archer sees the mark upon the path of the infinite, and

He bends you with His might that His arrows may go swift and far.

Let your bending in the archer's hand be for gladness;

For even as He loves the arrow that flies, so He loves also the bow that is stable.

Rishi, the above poem is so profound if we parent's truly live each word, we would treasure god's gift to humanity -our children as caretakers whose only duty to is to raise them with love and understanding that one day we have to let them go into the universe, where we parents don't belong. We are truly god's facilitators and such we must do our duty.

I love you Rishi, and miss you very much. It has been more than a month since we talked for more than five minutes. Hope this weekend we can talk for an hour.. I can't wait to talk to you this weekend love.

With lots of love, hugs and kisses,

Daddy

The Dash

My Dear Rishi,

We could not talk last week for more than 15 seconds. Hope we can talk for bit longer this coming weekend.

I came across the following poem in 1998, it changed my life and gave me a whole new perspective in life. Hope it may also help you too some day.

The Dash

by Linda Ellis

I read of a man who stood to speak
at the funeral of a friend.
He referred to the dates on her tombstone,
from the beginning…to the end.

He noted that first came the date of her birth
and spoke of the following date with tears,but he said what mattered most of all
was the dash between those years.

For that dash represents all the time
that she spent alive on earth.
And now only those who loved her
know what that little line is worth.

For it matters not, how much we own,
the cars…the house…the cash.
What matters is how we live and love
and how we spend our dash.

So, think about this long and hard.
Are there things you’d like to change?For you never know how much time is left
that can still be rearranged.

If we could just slow down enough
to consider what’s true and realand always try to understand
the way other people feel.

And be less quick to anger
and show appreciation more
and love the people in our lives
like we’ve never loved before.

If we treat each other with respect
and more often wear a smile,remembering that this special dash
might only last a little while.

So, when your eulogy is being read,
with your life’s actions to rehash…
would you be proud of the things they say
about how you spent YOUR DASH?

Rishi, we all have choice how we can fill our "DASH" in that lies our freedom. Hope,your DASH is filled with love, light, compassion, joy,kindness and understanding.

I love you and miss you very much.

With lots of love, hugs and kisses,

Daddy

Your Birthday

My Dear Rishi,

Once again we could not talk on the weekend. However, I enjoyed our ten minutes conversation on your birthday last week. I missed being with you but I was consoled knowing you were happy and received the gifts I sent including the Transformer's Bumble bee costume. I wish I could see you wearing the costume... I wrote the following poem for you on your birthday.

Your Birthday

Your birthday takes me back to the day when you were born,

Like a little angel you opened your eyes in my arms, you showed me what was true beauty in this world.

You looked at me and your look was so divine, so pure and so beautiful,

Even in the darkness, your bright eyes shined and there was a spark.

Today when I look at you, I see the same shine and spark,

They say face is the index of mind, eyes are the windows to your soul.

Son, thank you for showing the beauty you hold within your eyes, your heart and your soul.

May you always be blessed to keep the shine and the spark alive in your eyes.

As I hold you dearly in my heart and you hold me in yours.

May the love in our hearts always keep us closer where ever we are

Heart to heart though miles apart my love for you will never part.

Happy Birthday to you son! God bless you. Remember you are loved.

You are precious child of this universe and I love you son.

Rishi, I am delighted you had a good time on your birthday and god bless you son. I love you and miss you very much.

With lots of love, hugs and kisses.

Daddy

Anyway: The Paradoxical Commandments

My Dear Rishi,

We could not talk this weekend although I heard your voice briefly.

Today, I wanted to share with you The Ten Paradoxical Commandments. Rishi, I first came across these ten paradoxical commandments when I started my university. I bought some peanuts near the university and the peanuts were rolled in this paper which had the ten paradoxical commandments typed. It is amazing when you you are open to life and learning, opportunities just pop up, I believe there is a Buddhist saying which very eloquently expresses what I am trying to say here, "When the student is ready, the master appears". I had kept that piece of paper for longest time and than I finally wrote it in my diary. Once again I came across the same commandments when I was reading Mother Teresa's biography. Third time, I got the same message in an email. This poem has had a profound affect on me. Every time I come at cross roads in my life this poem appears. This happened again, when  I was browsing a book store, I saw a book called, " Do It Anyway" By Kent M. Keith. I immediately recognized the Ten Paradoxical Commandments, finally I knew the original author of these ten commandments was.  Till than every where I read, the author was anonymous.

I bought the book, "Do It Anyway"  and read it the same night.  I learned that Kent Keith wrote these commandments in 1968 while attending Harvard as an undergraduate student. He discovered that his inspirational words had taken on a life of their own, it was quoted by politicians and celebrities and in more than 6000 websites. These inspirational words appeared on the wall of Mother Teresa's children's home in Calcutta. In 1997, when Mother Teresa passed away the author found out that these commandments were on Mother Teresa's children's home in Calcutta. Thirty years after he wrote the Ten Commandments, and finding out Mother Teresa had this on her wall in Children's home (Sishu Bhavan) made a huge impact on the author. He ended up writing this book, "Do It Anyway".

Anyway: The Paradoxical Commandments

By Kent M. Keith

1. People are illogical, unreasonable, and self-centered.

Love them anyway

2. If you do good, people will accuse you of selfish ulterior motives.

Do good anyway

3. If you are successful, you will win false friends and true enemies.

Succeed anyway

4. The good you do today will be forgotten tomorrow.

Do good anyway

5. Honesty and frankness make you vulnerable.

Be honest and frank anyway

6. The biggest men and women with the biggest ideas can be shot down by the smallest men and women with the smallest minds.

Think big anyway

7. People favour underdogs but follow only top dogs.

Fight for a few underdogs anyway

8. What you spend years building may be destroyed overnight.

Build anyway

9. People really need help but may attack you if you do help them.

Help people anyway

10. Give the world the best you have and you'll get kicked in the teeth

Give the world the best you have anyway

Rishi, I have made an attempt to live my life by following these paradoxical commandments  ever since I read them. It has given me inner peace, taught me hope, to persevere, to face adversity with understanding and compassion and last but not the least, acceptance about transient nature of humans.  Hope you find these paradoxical commandments helpful in your life.

With lots of love, hugs and kisses,

Daddy

The Contract

My Dear Rishi,

It was fantastic to hear your voice for very very brief three minutes past weekend. I called you back as you requested on Sunday but no one answered the phone.

Rishi, as I write this letter, I reflect back to the day five years back today.  We both have come long way since than. Never in million years I ever anticipated this is how a child and father will be separated. Every child has the right to be with his or her parents and receive the love, support  from them.  In spite of everything I am grateful for life that that you are in this world, happy, growing up with love and care. God bless you son, I love you and will always miss you.

I came across a very beautiful poem today. The poem is by Linda Ellis and it is called the Contract. As I read this poem I understand why I am still here, what is keeping me going, what is sustaining from within when all else has fallen apart. I was there when you took the first breath in this world, when you first opened your eyes in this world and looked right into my eyes love.  Hope one day you read this poem and understand the essence of this poem what it means.

The Contract

By Linda Ellis.

When you breathed into your lungs

that first independent birth,

you signed an invisible contract

breached only upon death.

You made a subconscious promise

when you entered this earth

to cherish this life

and realize its worth.

This contract never expires,

and it never renews;

it has no small print or jargon

to daze and confuse.

An alliance, a marriage,

not of a husband and a wife--

but a union of yourself

and a brief and precious life.

A simple commitment in a pact,

very uncomplicated

Details of the terms are:

Agreement as Stated:

You've been blessed with existence--

an amazing creation.

Living life to the fullest

is your sole obligation.

Are you fulfilling your contract,

your promise, your vow

by inhabiting moments

of your here and your now?

Or.....

Are you often discouraged,

downcast, disenchanted?

Do you forget to count your blessings

and take life for granted?

When you find yourself there,

remember and think

of the contract you "signed"

in a permanent ink:

You've been blessed with existence--

an amazing creation

Living life to the fullest

is your sole obligation

Rishi, as I re-read this poem few times and as I typed this here again, all I could think of the time you were born and I was holding you love. I love you very much and miss you ....

God bless you son...

With lots of love and kisses,

Daddy

Life is not because of it, Rather in spite of it

My Dear Rishi,

I missed  talking to you on the weekend love.

Few years back I came across an interesting article, unfortunately I don't know who is the author nor do I remember the source or the original article. I remember writing the following in my dairy

Life is not because of it, Rather in spite of it

Anonymous

Mother earth is never benevolent to any seeds.It does not  make the process of germination easy for any seed. The seed has to and sprout against the force of earth to emerge  above the  soil. Providential it is that the very earth which stood against till it sprouted then nurtures its growth. It is nature's way of qualifying the seeds worth and if found deserving, it provides all the resources that are needed for it to grow to its full potential.

Similarly, all great men and women were ordinary who were forced to meet and undergo great challenges by circumstances. History is full of simple human beings who won over forces well beyond their control and emerged as champions. So, life is not a journey of "because of it, it is rather in spite of it.".

Rishi, life will throw challenges at you, it is up to you to take those challenges and turn them into opportunities. Life is beautiful, life is fantastic, this universe has enough to support to every ones needs but not every ones greed.

God bless you Rishi, I love you and miss yo very much.

With lots of love, hugs and kisses,

Daddy

A Prayer of Compassion

My Dear Rishi,

We could not talk on the weekend love, I tried many times. Few weeks back I was reading a wonderful book by a Buddhist Monk Lama Surya Das. There was a beautiful prayer I came across and it spoke to me volumes. Rishi, life over past few years has prepared me to accept solitude and solitariness today. Any way, let me not bore you with this heavy stuff.

A Prayer of Compassion

By Lama Surya Das

May my heart stay open and loving when I am feeling hurt and frayed.

May I learn to always to include others in Love's vast embrace.

May my heart remain pure and kind amid the painful details and muck of life

May virtue and serenity belong to all, even my competitors and adversaries.

May my broken heartedness open my heart ever further (like open-heart surgery) and bring forth love and open-hearted compassion.

Rishi, I love this poem for many reasons. It teaches us to remain open and embrace life despite what appears to be humanity's cruelty. We should not let the weeds of bitterness take root in us especially when some one has hurt us very deeply. It is imperative to forgive and show compassion with understanding. Compassion teaches us to understand the person who is inflicting pain on others are themselves carrying so much pain that they  are oblivious to pain they are causing others. Jesus Christ, when he was being crucified alive said, "God forgive them for they don't know what they are doing". This in essence is true essence of compassion. When we don't have compassion in our hearts we humans can continue to inflict enormous pain to humanity. 

Rishi, always remember, two wrongs will not make anything right. Sweetheart eye for an eye will turn whole world blind. The world needs love and compassion more than fear, anger and bitterness. There are only two  emotions in this world either it is love or it is fear.and every other emotion is derivative of these two emotion.  Love is light and Fear is dark. Always be true to your name Rishi (Your name also means " ray of first light", Light is Love and You are love.

I love you, miss you very much darling.  God bless you love.

With lots of love, hugs and kisses.

Daddy