A Father To His Son

My Dear Rishi,

I look forward to talking to you this evening and hope we can connect.

Today's poem is from Carl Sandburg. Carl Sandburg was born to Swedish immigrant parents in Illinois. His parents were very poor hence he had to stop his education after grade eight. After few years of doing odd jobs in Kansas, he volunteered to fight in the American-Spanish war. This qualified him for free tuition to study in college. In 1939, I believe he won the Pulitzer award for his work on Abraham Lincoln.

Carl Sandburg

I was introduced to his writings and poems in 1994. A Father to His Son is one of my favourite poems. This poem has made quite an impact in my life. I find, in this poem,  entire essence of life that any parent can impart to their children. In my opinion, this poem takes a very balanced view of life and also imparts the value of being true to yourself. Hope, you can benefit from the wisdom of this poem.

A Father to His Son

Carl Sandburg

 

A father sees his son nearing manhood

What shall he tell that son? "Life is hard; be steel; be rock"

And this might stand him for the storms and serve him for humdrum monotony and guide him among sudden betrayals and tighten him for slack moments.

 

"Life is a soft loam; be gentle, go easy". And this too might serve him.

Brutes have been gentled where lashes failed

The growth of a frail flower in a path up has sometimes shattered and split a rock.

A tough will counts. So does desire. So does a rich soft wanting

Without rich wanting nothing arrives.

 

Tell him too much money has killed men and left them dead years before burial: the quest of lucre beyond a few easy needs has twisted good enough men sometimes into dry thwarted worms. Tell him as stuff, can be wasted.

 

Tell him to much money has killed men and left them dead for years before burial: the quest for lucre beyond a few easy needs has twisted good enough men sometimes into dry thwarted worms. Tell him time as stuff can be wasted.

 

Tell him to be a fool every so often and to have no shame over having been a fool yet learning something out of every hoping to repeat none of the cheap follies thus arriving at intimate understanding of a world numbering many fools.

 

Tell him to be alone often and get at himself and food all tell himself no lies about himself whatever the white lies and protective front he may use against other people

 

Tell him solitude is creative if he is strong and the final decisions are made in silent rooms. Tell him to be different from other people if it comes natural and easy being different.

Let him have lazy days seeking his deeper motives. Let him seek deep for where he is born natural.

 

Then he may understand Shakespeare and the Wright brothers, Pasteur, Pavlov, Michael Faraday and free imaginations. Bringing changes into a world resenting change. He will be lonely  enough to have time for the work of his own.

 

God Bless you Rishi, I love you and miss you very much son!

 

With lots of love, hugs and kisses,

 

Love,

 

Daddy

 

 

 

The Road Not Taken

My Dear Rishi,

It has been few weeks since I wrote this blog. It has been interesting few weeks to say the least. "The Road Not Taken" is one of my favourite poems. I read Robert Frost's poem first time in 6th Class or grade.  This poem has helped me, guided me and shaped me especially when I had to decide whether to walk away or try harder. Recently, I had to make a decision in my professional life, once again this poem really helped me to take the road which is usually less travelled.

 

The Road Not Taken



By Robert Frost

 

 

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,

And sorry I could not travel both

And be one traveller, long I stood

And looked down one as far as I could

To where it bent in the undergrowth;

 

Then took the other, as just as fair,

And having perhaps the better claim,

Because it was grassy and wanted wear;

Though as for that the passing there

Had worn them really about the same,

 

And both that morning equally lay

In leaves no step had trodden black.

Oh, I marked the first for another day!

Yet knowing how way leads on to way,

I doubted if I should ever comeback.

 

I shall be telling this with a sigh

Somewhere ages and ages hence;

Two roads diverged in a wood, and I,

I took the one less travelled by,

And that has all made the difference.

 

Rishi, poems like these are timeless classics as they have passed through generations and stood the test of time. Like me, I am quite sure this poem has influenced many people and will continue to influence, inspire and transform. Hope, this poem some day influences, inspires and transforms you to always take the higher road.  God bless you Rishi!

 

Rishi, I love you and miss you very much.

 

With lots of love, hugs and kisses,

 

Daddy

God to a Mother

My Dear Rishi,

I enjoyed speaking with you last weekend. We talked for about 30 minutes first time in months. It was a very rough week, emotionally for me as I came across one of my favourite pictures of your mother, Honey and I. This picture was taken on the new year day in 2005. I wanted to share this picture with you.  I had to put myself together and wanted to keep it positive for you.

Here is a beautiful poem for you to read, I love this poem and always cherish and consider this as a tribute to all mother's in this world. 

God to a Mother

I’ll lend you for a little time,

A child of mine, he said.

For you to love while she lives,

And to mourn when she is dead.

It may be six or seven years,

Or maybe twenty two or three,

But will you, till I call her back,

Take care of her for me?

She’ll bring her charms to gladden you,

And shall her stay be brief,

You’ll have her lovely memories

As solace for your grief.

I cannot promise she will stay,

Since all from earth return.

But there are lessons taught down there,

I want this child to learn.

I’ve looked the wide world over,

In my search for teachers true.

And from the throngs that crowd life’s lanes

I have chosen you.

Now will you give her all your love,

Nor think the labor vain.

Nor hate me when I come to call,

To take her back to me.

I fancied that I heard you say

Dear Lord, thy will be done.

For all the joy this child shall bring

The risk of grief we’ll run.

We’ll shelter her with tenderness,

We’ll love her while we may.

And for the happiness we’ve known,

We’ll ever grateful stay.

But shall the angels call for her

Much sooner than we planned.

We’ll brave the bitter grief that comes

And love her till the end.

I miss you very much Rishi. With lots of love, hugs and kisses,

Love,

Daddy 

Ten Spiritual Tonics

My Dear Rishi,

It was nice to hear you talk for about 12 minutes after a month. It also pained to hear that all you could say for anything I asked is "I don't know" including when I asked you, " how are you?" I understand it is not you..love. On Friday, I went for hang gliding. It was okay but I was not as excited or as thrilled as skydiving or flying on a fixed wing glider. This was my last item in my bucket list.

I wanted to share with you something interesting I read few years back, it is called " Ten Spiritual Tonics". Rishi, these ten lines have helped me in many ways than I can ever imagine. Hope you find them helpful in your life's journey too.

Ten Spiritual Tonics

Abraham L. Feinberg

1. Stop Worrying: Worry kills life.
2. Begin each day with a prayer: It will arm your soul
3. Control Appetite: Over-iindulgence clogs body and mind
4. Accept your Limitations: All of us can't be great
5. Don't envy: It wastes time and energy
6. Have faith in people: Cynicism sours disposition
7. Find a hobby: It will relax your nerves
8. Read a book a week to stimulate imagination and broaden your view
9. Spend time alone, for the peace, solitude and silence
10. Try to want what you have, instead of spending your strength trying to get what you want.

Rishi, I came across recently a little prayer as I was getting frustrated as I was not able to reach you. I saw this piece of writing by Robert Holden, and I thought this was a perfect answer to my frustration and for peace of my mind..Here is the prayer....( just added your name :) )

"Dear God,

I give you my relationship with my son Rishi,

I give you my desire to control this relationship.

Let love be my guide.

Let love bless us both.

So be it."

Truth is, that one cannot be in control and be happy

Rishi, I love you and miss you very much.

With lots of love, hugs and kisses

Daddy





On Children

My Dear Rishi,

Another week of not being able to speak to you...I tried calling you few times. Day before yesterday, we spoke briefly and you requested me to call you later, I tried but no one answered. Hopefully, we can talk this weekend..Sometimes in life we have to play the cards we have been dealt with.

This week's poem is by Kahlil Gibran. I love his writing specially his collection of poems in a book called, "The Prophet".  One of my all time favourite is called, "On Children". I love this poem from so many reasons. It is for all the parents to realize that, parents are nothing but custodians of this precious god's gift. Some parents tend to become overbearing, over protective, manipulative all in the name of "love". It is so sad, such parents give bad name to the word "parent". How sad is this! Of all the people you may understand this when you grow up one day.

On Children

And a woman who held a babe against her bosom said,

Speak to us of Children.

And he said:

Your children are not your children.

They are the sons and daughters of Life's longing for itself

They come through you but not from you,

And though they are with you yet they belong not to you.

You may give them your love, but not your thoughts,

For they have their own thoughts.

You may house their bodies but not their souls,

For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow, which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams.

You may strive to be like them, but seek not to make them like you.

For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday.

You are the bows from which your children as living arrows are sent forth.

The archer sees the mark upon the path of the infinite, and

He bends you with His might that His arrows may go swift and far.

Let your bending in the archer's hand be for gladness;

For even as He loves the arrow that flies, so He loves also the bow that is stable.

Rishi, the above poem is so profound if we parent's truly live each word, we would treasure god's gift to humanity -our children as caretakers whose only duty to is to raise them with love and understanding that one day we have to let them go into the universe, where we parents don't belong. We are truly god's facilitators and such we must do our duty.

I love you Rishi, and miss you very much. It has been more than a month since we talked for more than five minutes. Hope this weekend we can talk for an hour.. I can't wait to talk to you this weekend love.

With lots of love, hugs and kisses,

Daddy

The Dash

My Dear Rishi,

We could not talk last week for more than 15 seconds. Hope we can talk for bit longer this coming weekend.

I came across the following poem in 1998, it changed my life and gave me a whole new perspective in life. Hope it may also help you too some day.

The Dash

by Linda Ellis

I read of a man who stood to speak
at the funeral of a friend.
He referred to the dates on her tombstone,
from the beginning…to the end.

He noted that first came the date of her birth
and spoke of the following date with tears,but he said what mattered most of all
was the dash between those years.

For that dash represents all the time
that she spent alive on earth.
And now only those who loved her
know what that little line is worth.

For it matters not, how much we own,
the cars…the house…the cash.
What matters is how we live and love
and how we spend our dash.

So, think about this long and hard.
Are there things you’d like to change?For you never know how much time is left
that can still be rearranged.

If we could just slow down enough
to consider what’s true and realand always try to understand
the way other people feel.

And be less quick to anger
and show appreciation more
and love the people in our lives
like we’ve never loved before.

If we treat each other with respect
and more often wear a smile,remembering that this special dash
might only last a little while.

So, when your eulogy is being read,
with your life’s actions to rehash…
would you be proud of the things they say
about how you spent YOUR DASH?

Rishi, we all have choice how we can fill our "DASH" in that lies our freedom. Hope,your DASH is filled with love, light, compassion, joy,kindness and understanding.

I love you and miss you very much.

With lots of love, hugs and kisses,

Daddy

Your Birthday

My Dear Rishi,

Once again we could not talk on the weekend. However, I enjoyed our ten minutes conversation on your birthday last week. I missed being with you but I was consoled knowing you were happy and received the gifts I sent including the Transformer's Bumble bee costume. I wish I could see you wearing the costume... I wrote the following poem for you on your birthday.

Your Birthday

Your birthday takes me back to the day when you were born,

Like a little angel you opened your eyes in my arms, you showed me what was true beauty in this world.

You looked at me and your look was so divine, so pure and so beautiful,

Even in the darkness, your bright eyes shined and there was a spark.

Today when I look at you, I see the same shine and spark,

They say face is the index of mind, eyes are the windows to your soul.

Son, thank you for showing the beauty you hold within your eyes, your heart and your soul.

May you always be blessed to keep the shine and the spark alive in your eyes.

As I hold you dearly in my heart and you hold me in yours.

May the love in our hearts always keep us closer where ever we are

Heart to heart though miles apart my love for you will never part.

Happy Birthday to you son! God bless you. Remember you are loved.

You are precious child of this universe and I love you son.

Rishi, I am delighted you had a good time on your birthday and god bless you son. I love you and miss you very much.

With lots of love, hugs and kisses.

Daddy