Facing Our Challenges and Finding Opportunities in our Challenges

July 30th, 2011

My Dear Rishi,

I called you every hour from 10am to 7pm Singapore time finally I was able to speak to you for four minutes around 7:30pm. I miss you and love you very much. This weekend is going to be rather tough on many levels. It will be four years today.......Anyways there is no use dwelling in past, whoever, said time heals must be really thinking from a very narrow perspective in life ...well it is a perspective I guess :).  Today's story was told by my grandfather when I was about 9 years old. Today I really need to remember this to get through this weekend with a positive frame of mind :)

Facing Our Challenges and Finding Opportunities in
Our Challenges

This parable is told of a farmer who owned an old donkey. The donkey fell into the farmer’s old, dried well. The farmer heard the donkey braying loudly. After carefully assessing the situation, the farmer sympathized with the donkey, but decided that neither the donkey nor the well was worth the trouble of saving. Instead, he called his neighbours together, told them what had happened, and enlisted them to help haul dirt to bury the old donkey in the well and put him out of his misery.

Initially the old donkey was hysterical! But as the farmer and his neighbours continued shoveling and the dirt hit his back, a thought struck him. It suddenly dawned on him that every time a shovel load of dirt landed on his back, HE WOULD SHAKE IT OFF AND STEP UP!

This he did, blow after blow. “Shake it off and step up…shake it off and step up…shake it off and step up!” He repeated to encourage himself. No matter how painful the blows, or how distressing the situation seemed, the old donkey fought panic and just kept right on SHAKING IT OFF AND STEPPING UP!

It wasn’t long before the old donkey, battered and exhausted, stepped triumphantly over the wall of that well! What seemed like it would bury him actually helped him . . . all because of the manner in which he handled his adversity.

THAT’S LIFE! If we face our problems and respond to them positively, and refuse to give in to panic, bitterness, or self-pity. My dear son, you have not only learned the art of living, but also have mastered the art of living.

Rishi, end of the day it all boils down to  your attitude while facing trials and tribulations of life. If someone throws bricks at you, collect them, use them to build a house and sell it back to the person who is throwing bricks at you. There is no point in hurting other person, they will have to learn their own lessons. You will never have control on what other person does or not do. All you have control is on your own attitude, feelings and emotions. My only advise to you is make sure you don't slip into their level and start behaving like them and think of hurting them. Please do your best to take a higher road in life, without making anyone small.This path is not easy, this path is very difficult. However, when you are in this path at least your conscience is clear and you are aligned with highest principles of humanity and universe.  Remember two wrongs will not make anything right. You cannot fight darkness with darkness, you can fight darkness with light and only light.  Be the light Rishi...Be the light where there is darkness...

Love you, miss you Rishi.

Lots of love, hugs and kisses,

Daddy

To Achieve Your Dreams Remember your ABC's

July 24th, 2011

 

My Dear Rishi,

 

I really enjoyed talking to you on Saturday (July 22nd) morning. We talked for about 28 minutes. You told me about your school, you sang a Mandarin song and also recited your school pledge. Wow! you were amazing Rishi. You were excited about your birthday and I mentioned that I mailed your birthday gifts.

 

I know you know your ABC's. Today's ABC's are bit with a twist, hopefully you will enjoy reading them as well as applying them in your own life..

• Avoid negative sources, people, places, things and habits
• Believe in yourself, otherwise no one else will.
• Consider a thing or view from every angle
• Don't give up and don't give in.
• Enjoy  the life today, yesterday is gone, tomorrow may never come
• Family and friends are the hidden treasures, seek them and enjoy their riches.
• Give more than you planned to
• Hang on to your dreams
• Ignore those  who try to discourage you
• Just do it
• Keep trying no matter how hard it seems, it will get easier
• Love yourself first and foremost
• Make it happen
• Never lie, cheat or steal, always strike a fair deal.
• Open your eyes and see things as they really are
• Positive people and positive thoughts are more important than money
• Quitters never win and winners never quit
• Read, study and learn about everything important in life
• Stop procrastinating
• Take control of your destiny
• Understand yourself in order to understand others
• Visualize it, to create it
• Worry is the investment you make even before the trouble comes 
• Xcellarate your efforts
• You are unique of all God's creations, nothing can replace you love.
• Zero in on your target and go for it.

Hope you remember your ABC's to fulfill and achieve your dreams.

 

With lots of love, hugs and kisses,

 

Love,

 

Daddy

On Positive Thinking

July 16th, 2011

My Dear Rishi,

This week I have been missing you quite a lot. Last weekend was Manav's birthday party and it was amazing how all the kids were playing with me. Rishi, whenever I see any kid, I see you in them from babies to 10 year old. As much I miss you, I always have positive thoughts about you, about us and that is what sustains me from within.  I love you Rishi.Today's story is about Positive Thinking and Attitude goes with the positive thinking.

 Positive Thinking.

By Francie Baltazar-Schwartz

Jerry was the kind of guy you love to hate. He was always in a good mood and always had something positive to say. When someone would ask him how he was doing, he would reply, “If I were any better, I would be twins!”

He was a unique manager because he had several waiters who had followed him around from restaurant to restaurant. The reason the waiters followed Jerry was because of his attitude. He was a natural motivator. If an employee was having a bad day, Jerry was there telling the employee how to look on the positive side of the situation.

Seeing this style really made me curious, so one day I went up to Jerry and asked him, “I don’t get it! You can’t be a positive person all of the time. How do you do it?” Jerry replied, “Each morning I wake up and say to myself, Jerry, you have two choices today. You can choose to be in a good mood or you can choose to be in a bad mood.’ I choose to be in a good mood. Each time something bad happens, I can choose to be a victim or I can choose to learn from it. I choose to learn from it. Every time someone comes to me complaining, I can choose to accept their complaining or I can point out the positive side of life. I choose the positive side of life.”

“Yeah, right, it’s not that easy,” I protested.

“Yes it is,” Jerry said. “Life is all about choices. When you cut away all the junk, every situation is a choice. You choose how you react to situations. You choose how people will affect your mood. You choose to be in a good mood or bad mood. The bottom line:" It’s your choice how you live life.”
I reflected on what Jerry said. Soon thereafter, I left the restaurant industry to start my own business. We lost touch, but often thought about him when I made a choice about life instead of reacting to it. Several years later, I heard that Jerry did something you are never supposed to do in a restaurant business: he left the back door open one morning and was held up at gunpoint by three armed robbers. While trying to open the safe, his hand, shaking from nervousness, slipped off the combination. The robbers panicked and shot him. Luckily, Jerry was found relatively quickly and rushed to the local trauma center. After 18 hours of surgery and weeks of intensive care, Jerry was released from the hospital with fragments of the bullets still in his body. I saw Jerry about six months after the accident. When I asked him how he was, he replied, “If I were any better, I’d be twins. Wanna see my scars?”
I declined to see his wounds, but did ask him what had gone through his mind as the robbery took place. “The first thing that went through my mind was that I should have locked the back door,” Jerry replied. “Then, as I lay on the floor, I remembered that I had two choices: I could choose to live, or I could choose to die. I chose to live.”

“Weren’t you scared? Did you lose consciousness?” I asked. Jerry continued, “The paramedics were great. They kept telling me I was going to be fine. But when they wheeled me into the emergency room and I saw the expressions on the faces of the doctors and nurses, I got really scared. In their eyes, I read, ‘He’s a dead man.’ I knew I needed to take action.”

“What did you do?” I asked.

“Well, there was a big, burly nurse shouting questions at me,” said Jerry. “She asked if I was allergic to anything. ‘Yes,’ I replied. The doctors and nurses stopped working as they waited for my reply… I took a deep breath and yelled, ‘Bullets!’ Over their laughter, I told them, ‘I am choosing to live. Operate on me as if I am alive, not dead.”

Jerry lived thanks to the skill of his doctors, but also because of his amazing attitude. I learned from him that every day we have the choice to live fully. Attitude, after all, is everything.

Rishi, always be positive in your thoughts, words and deeds.  Your positive attitude will sustain you, hold you together facing your trials and tribulations of life. Stay positive, be kind, be compassionate, be loving.

Sow a Thought, Reap an Action,

Sow an Action, Reap a Habit,

Sow a Habit, Reap a Character,

Sow a Character, Create your Destiny”

By Swami Sivananda

Love you Rishi,

With tons of love, kisses and hugs,

Daddy

Judgement

 July 09th, 2011

My Dear Rishi,

Today evening I wanted to do something different and went to see an Opera at United Church on College and Bathurst. By the way this is the same place your mommy and I used to take Honey for her Doggy classes.

Today I was pondering about "Judgement". We all love to judge others, but when someone judges us we become very defensive or aggressive towards the other person. Hopefully one day just the way I realized, you may also realize that all unhappiness stems from a very simple judgement that is, " this is bad" or this is wrong".  I have learned one thing in life is that if you must judge, than walk in other person's shoes for few minutes. Since this is impossible, so just accept people for who they are.  Just let it be and be happy, be kind, be compassionate, be loving. If you are unhappy about something in life, just ask yourself, "What am I judging? Who am I judging? Who am I to judge? Why do I need to judge?".. Today's story is about Judgement.

Judgement

There once was a man who never lost his smile.  One day he lost his job. "This is bad news,"said his colleagues. The man smiled, "It is," he said. Within a week he found a job that paid double his previous wage. "This is good news," said his friends.

The man smiled, "It is" he said.

On the first day of his new job, the man who never once lost his smile spoke up to disagree with his new boss. "This is bad news," said his new colleagues. The man smiled, "It is," he said. The next day, his new boss commended the man for being honest and forthright with his opinions.

"This is good news," said his colleagues.

The man smiled ,"It is," he said.

A month later, the man who never once lost his smile was badly inured in a terrible car crash. He was hospitalised for six moths as a result. "What bad news," said his friends said. "It is," the man said, still managing to smile. He received a fiver-figure settlement for his injury.  "What a great news," his friends said.  The man smiled, "It is, " he said.

A year later, the man never lost his smile lost all his money as the stock exchanged collapsed.

"Bad luck," said his friends. "It is," the man said, and still he smiled. Soon after he was laid off from his job. "Bad times," commiserated his friends.

"It is," said the man, who had now lost everything, except his smile. His friends, amazed that the man was still able to smile, asked, "How can you still smile when things are so "bad?" The man replied, "I see nothing as "bad". His friends countered, "But when we commiserate and say "Too bad" you say "It is," you agree" ."No," said the man. "When you say "bad" or "good.  I simply say "It is," and in doing so I am practicing acceptance and freedom from judgement. It's because I don't get caught up in judgement that I can always attend to keep my smile".

Rishi when you see, you don't see as it is, you always see your judgement of it. When this happens, it is lack of acceptance and openness that causes you so much pain. Pain is a choice, suffering is optional.

When ever I come to see you in Singapore, you come running to me with open arms and give me a hug. There is so much love in you sweetheart, there is so much joy. You know why Rishi, because you are free from judgement, you are pure joy, pure love, you are happy, happy, happy..  Thank you Rishi for your hugs and so much love. I love you Rishi.

Here is something for you to ponder on:

Fear, without judgement, is love.

Anger, without judgement, is love.

Guilt, without judgement, is love.

Depression, without judgement, is love.

Jealousy, without judgement, is love.

Hate, without judgement is love.

Anxiety, without judgement is love.

Sadness, without judgement is love.

Pain, without judgement is love.

Love, without judgement is love.

Another way of saying the samething for each of the above words is that you drop the judgement, drop the story you associate with each word, the only thing left is LOVE. You are that love. True love is free from judgement. When you are free from judgement, you are accepting and there is openess. Rishi, your heart and mind are like parachute, they work best when they are open.

With lots of love, hugs and kisses,

Daddy

Gratitude and Generosity

July 2nd, 2011

My Dear Rishi,

Yesterday was Canada Day and I was at the Ashbridges Bay Beach watching fireworks. I called you few times starting on Friday morning Singapore time and I could not speak to you.

I was reading The Soul of A Butterfly-Reflections on Life's Journey by Muhammad Ali. Muhammad Ali was one of the Greatest Boxer, he won Olympics  Gold Medal for Boxing in 1960. There was an interesting story about Gratitude and Generosity, one of Ali's favourite story. I wanted to share this with you.

Gratitude and Generosity

Once upon a time there was a slave named Omar. He had been brought in front of the king along with one hundred other slaves. As soon as king saw Omar, the King was captivated by his radiance.  Immediately King made Omar his assistant. It was not long before Omar gained trust and confidence of the king, who put him in charge of his treasury, where all of his precious gold and jewels were kept. Many of the King's men became envious of Omar's new position. They could not understand why Omar should raise from a slave to a keeper of the king's treasure

Soon their envy grew into spite. They began to tell stories in order to bring Omar into the king's disfavor. One of the stories was that the Omar woke up before everyone else in the palace and went into the room where the king's jewels were kept and he was stealing the jewels little by little every day.

When one of the king's men told him what was being said, the king responded, "No, I cannot believe such a thing ! You'll have to show me".

Therefore they brought the king to watch in secret as Omar entered the treasury room. The king saw Omar open the safe. But what did he take out of it? It was not king's jewels , but his old ragged clothes that he had worn as a slave. He kissed them, pressed them to his face, and laid them on the table. Incense was burning and the king could see that Omar was doing something important to him.

Omar put on his old clothes, looked at himself in the mirror and said, "Look, Omar, see what you were before. Know that it was not your worthiness that brought you to this position, but the king's generosity and kindness in overlooking your faults. So guard this duty as your most sacred trust, in appreciation of his generosity and kindness.  Most important, never forget your first day-the day when you came to this town, for it is the remembrance of this day when you came to this town. For it is the remembrance of this day will keep you grateful."

Omar then took off his old slave clothes and put them back into the safe. Then he put on his princely robe. As he headed for the door he noticed the king standing in the doorway.

The king looked at Omar with eyes full of tears and said, " People told me that you have stolen jewels from my treasure room, but i have found that you have stolen my heart. Omar, you have taught me a valuable lesson. It is a lesson we all must learn, whatever our position in life may be, we must always be grateful, even for the hardships we have known. Then the king looked into Omar's eyes and said, "Omar, I may be the king, but it is you who have the royal heart"

Rishi may you learn, understand and live your life with Gratitude and Generosity.  Here is a recipe for a GOOD LIFE  By Ali

Take a few cups of kindness

One dash of humility

One sprinkle of laughter

One teaspoon of patience

One tablespoon of generosity

One pint of forgiveness

One quart of love

And add a gallon of faith

Mix in determination and add lot of courage.

Stir it up very well, spread it over the span of your lifetime

And serve it to each and every person you meet.

Rishi I love you and my prayers are always with you have a great life love, I miss you, love you.

With lots of love, hugs and kisses,

Daddy