Invictus

My Dear Rishi,

We had a great chat on the weekend. You read from the book I gave you  "On The Day you were Born" By Nancy Tillman. I am really impressed and proud of you Rishi.  You remembered that I had pasted our pictures together and you could not see them anymore. Rishi, you know what you said to me finally, "Daddy, I love you forever where you are, wherever you go, my love will find you". Thank you Rishi! I love you and miss you!

Today's poem is called Invictus. In Latin, it means invincible, unconquered. William Ernest Henley, author of this poem wrote it when his one remaining foot was to be amputated, he was in lot of pain, the words flowed, "In the fell clutch of circumstances I have not winced nor cried aloud". In a very short life of twenty five years he had endured illness, poverty, pain and suffering...endless treatments and operations testing human courage to its limits. As he lay in his hospital bed, he promised himself, smiling and said, "But I won't give up! I won't give, no matter what happens. I thank god for unconquerable soul". I find this poem very appropriate for the emotional pain of missing you, not playing with you, not being part of your life as you grow.....Rishi, I won't give up on you, on us, our love, love between a father and child....I won't...I love you son.  I read this poem every day, sometimes every waking hour.....I find strength and courage to face another second.. Interestingly, enough Nelson Mandela, used to read the same poem, during apartheid regime in South Africa when he was imprisoned in Robben Island, isolated from his family, alone, in a dark and dingy cell.

Invictus

William Ernest Henley

 

Out of the night that covers me,

Black as the pit from pole to pole,

I thank whatever gods may be

For my unconquerable soul.

 

In the fell clutch of circumstance

I have not winced nor cried aloud.

Under the bludgeonings of chance

My head is bloody, but unbowed

 

Beyond this place of wrath and tears

Looms but the Horror of the shad,

And yet the menace of the years

Finds and shall find me unafraid.

 

It matters not how strait the gate,

How charged with punishments the scroll,

I am the master of my fate:

I am the captain of my soul

 

This poem has helped me and given me courage to face sorrow, pain and fear; and accept the blows of my fate, to triumph and raise like a Phoenix.  Yes, one thing  I have to admit though, I do weep when the pain of not being with you becomes too great to bare, which is at least once a day.





 

 



 

I love you Rishi and miss you!

 

 

With lots of love, hugs and kisses,

 

Daddy

For the Greater Good: Love and Forgiveness

My Dear Rishi,

I enjoyed talking to you yesterday evening. You were so funny and hilarious. You asked me to call you again tomorrow evening and I cannot wait to talk to you.

Recently, I read very interesting true story about this lady whose son was killed by a 14 year old boy for no reason.  The boy was sentenced by the judge and as he was being lead away by the police, the mother of the boy who was killed shouted at the boy, " I am going to kill you".

After being in prison for a year or so, the boy is visited by the mother whose son was killed. The boy in prison was bit scared to meet  but he agreed to meet her.  They both had a brief conversation. Just before leaving the prison she gave the boy some money and  asked him if he needed anything. After the first visit, she started coming regularly and talking to him.

When he was about to be released from the prison as he turned 18, she asked him what he was going to do? His response was , "I don't know, I have no idea. I got no family, no nothing". She spoke to her friend and arranged for a job in a factory. Than she told the boy  to come and stay with her in her spare room. After about six months later she said to him, "I need to talk to you". They sat in the living room and talked. She said to him, "Remember that day in the court when you were convicted for murdering my son for no reason at all, to get into your gang, and I stood up and said, "I am going to kill you?"

The boy said "Yes ma'am, I'll never forget that day".

She replied, "Well I have. You see, I didn't want a boy who could kill in cold blood like that to continue to exist in this world. So I set about visiting you, bringing you presents, bringing you things, and taking care of you. And now I let you come into my house and got you a job and a place to live because I don't have anybody anymore. My son is gone he was the only person that I was living with. I set about changing you, you are the same person anymore.

But I don't have anybody, and I want to know if you'd stay here. I am in need of a son, and I want to know if I can adopt you"

And he said yes and she did.

Rishi, my friend read this blog and sent me this link. Please listen to this  http://storycorps.org/listen/stories/mary-johnson-and-oshea-israel/

Rishi, the mother loved her son so much she chose to forgive so that she can have a son. That is the power of love and forgiveness. Forgiveness is letting go of all the suffering, pain and sorrows, you don't need to carry this burden for life. The Bhagvad Gita says, "If you want to see the brave, look at those who can return love for hatred. If you want to see heroic, look to those who can forgive".  Rishi, forgiveness and love is not for the weak. Cruelty, bitterness and anger are only for people who are weak.   Elie Wiesel (an amazing author hope, you get a chance to read his books some day) says, "Suffering, confers neither privileges nor rights.  It all depends on how you use it. If you use it to increase the anguish of yourself or others, you are degrading, even betraying it. Yet the day will come when we shall understand that suffering can also elevate human beings. God help us to bear our suffering well". 

Immaculee Ilibazia, Nelson Mandela, Mahatma Gandhi, Desmond Tutu and many more have demonstrated through their lives that for the greater good, it is better to forgive and love. Let go of the past pain, sorrows and humiliation etc.. Hope, someday you get to read about these wonderful souls.

Always remember two wrongs will not make things right. Just because someone has hurt you or betrayed you or humiliated you, never repay them in same token but change that to love and forgiveness, dont' give away to hatredness. There is no future without love and forgiveness, only love and forgiveness will sustain you when everything fails.

I love you Rishi. God bless you to be strong, compassionate and loving human being.

Love,

Daddy.