Tomorrow's Yesterday

My Dear Rishi,

It has been sometime since I wrote. As the year ends, I take some time to reflect the year 2012. It has been a year of personal loss and also a year of personal transformation. Today, as I write these words I am grateful for where I am in spite of many changes. This is the year I have made strides in letting go and just be. I have realized, it matters how we live rest of the life and cherish what we have. I want to end this year with one of the poems which has touched me recently in a quite palpable way.

 

Tomorrow's Yesterday

By Linda Ellis

 

We rue the passing of each yesterday

because it is, forever gone

and take for granted that we'll live to see

another break of dawn.

 

Time eagerly moves forward;

though we may plead, it never lingers.

Intangible yet, we feel its presence

as it slips right through our fingers.

 

It progresses callously onward

like an illness with no cure,

while we anticipate tomorrow

as if it was ours, for sure.

 

Precious seconds tick in rhythm

as we walk...and laugh...and sleep,

accumulating into minutes

that we can use, but never keep.

 

Today is here, but only once,

a blessing...merely ours to borrow,

for it will soon turn into yesterday...

just as it is was once, tomorrow.

 

Minutes to hours, hours to days,

no secret or mystery....

our "now" in turn, becomes our "then"

...a part of life's history.

 

Live for today...live for your "now"\

make memories that will last;

paint bold colors of your present

to the canvas of your past.

 

Don't postpone your hopes and dreams

by saying ....I'll be happy when....."

Seize the seconds that are passing by

for you can't get them back again!

 

Learn to savor these 24 hours

without one minute of delay,

because too soon they will forever be....

tomorrow's yesterday.

 

Rishi, I love you each day more and more although the distance between becomes wider and wider, as you said, "Daddy, when you are alone remember, I am in your heart and you are in my heart". Truly wised words Rishi...I love you more each second, minute, hour, days, months and years......

 

Wish you a Happy New Year son.....hope, pray and wish you the very best for 2013. Whatever is best for you should always happen...love ! I miss you ...

 

With lots of love, hugs and kisses....

 

Daddy

Miracles

My Dear Rishi,

Wishing you the very best on Diwali. Hope, you have a wonderful day. Today I recieved, a wonderful comment on this blog. It was sorts of miracle as I was wondering if my writing this blog for you has any value at all. I am not sure if you will ever read and all kinds of negative thoughts were running in my head, to be honest I was feeling very down. I was checking my email and  I saw following,  comment from a complete stranger about one specific story I wrote for you in my blog.

 Martha Williams, Kids Trek has left a new comment on your post "Story of Evans Wadongo":

On Wed., Nov. 14, I shall teach children and their families the process of invention during the Mensa Kids Trek Inventors Workshop here in Alabama, United States of America.
Miracles happen every moment of our lives. A miracle, by my definition, is anything that has not yet been explained by science.
The miracle of this moment is that I have found your letter just after learning about the accomplishment of Evans Wandongo that was posted by an organization who has worked to help our excellent President Barack Obama receive re-election.
How the threads intertwine is always amazing.
I plan to use your letter to inspire my children and their families to expand their minds through the invention process, and, also, to realize that people of all ages, of all backgrounds have the potential to be successful in their lives, to contribute to the world, and, possibly, to discover the geniuses that lie within all of us.
Thank you for taking the time to read my comment. May your life be blessed as you bless the lives of those around you.
Rishi, this is miracle in action for you.  I never imagined what I am writing for you could help others. I hope, wish one day you also get an opportunity to read this blog. Since the theme of today's letter has been about "miracles", I feel today's poem should also be about miracles. Here is a beautiful poem by Walt Whitman on miracles.

Miralces

By Walt Whitman

 

WHY! who makes much of a miracle?
As to me, I know of nothing else but miracles,
Whether I walk the streets of Manhattan,
Or dart my sight over the roofs of houses toward the sky,
Or wade with naked feet along the beach, just in the edge of the water,
Or stand under trees in the woods,
Or talk by day with any one I love—or sleep in the bed at night with any one I love,
Or sit at table at dinner with my mother,
Or look at strangers opposite me riding in the car,
Or watch honey-bees busy around the hive, of a summer forenoon,
Or animals feeding in the fields,
Or birds—or the wonderfulness of insects in the air,
Or the wonderfulness of the sun-down—or of stars shining so quiet and bright,
Or the exquisite, delicate, thin curve of the new moon in spring;
Or whether I go among those I like best, and that like me best—mechanics, boatmen,
farmers,
Or among the savans—or to the soiree—or to the opera,
Or stand a long while looking at the movements of machinery,
Or behold children at their sports,
Or the admirable sight of the perfect old man, or the perfect old woman,
Or the sick in hospitals, or the dead carried to burial,
Or my own eyes and figure in the glass;
These, with the rest, one and all, are to me miracles,
The whole referring—yet each distinct, and in its place.

To me, every hour of the light and dark is a miracle,
Every cubic inch of space is a miracle,
Every square yard of the surface of the earth is spread with the same,
Every foot of the interior swarms with the same;
Every spear of grass—the frames, limbs, organs, of men and women, and all that
concerns them,

All these to me are unspeakably perfect miracles.

To me the sea is a continual miracle;
The fishes that swim—the rocks—the motion of the waves—the ships, with men
in them,
What stranger miracles are there?

 

Let this Diwali bring miracles in our lives and hope we spend more time together. 

With lots of love, hugs, kisses and best wishes,

Daddy.



To Hope

My Dear Rishi,

After our long talk few weeks back, we have not been able to talk for more than fifteen minutes at a stretch since then.

I came across another poem few years back by Emily Dickinson called, "Hope" is the thing with feathers.

"Hope" is the thing with feathers

By Emily Dickinson

 

"Hope" is the thing with feathers --
That perches in the soul --
And sings the tune without the words --
And never stops -- at all --

And sweetest -- in the Gale -- is heard --
And sore must be the storm --
That could abash the little Bird
That kept so many warm --

I've heard it in the chillest land --
And on the strangest Sea --
Yet, never, in Extremity,
It asked a crumb -- of Me.

 

Rishi, every weekend I live with a hope that I hear your voice, talk to you forever, be part of your life, I have already missed out so much and everything else fails, this hope sustains me and keeps me going that one day we will be together. I love you very much and miss you Rishi.

 

With lots of love, hugs and kisses,

 

Daddy







The Solitary Reaper

My Dear Rishi,

Last weekend we spoke for an hour and fifteen minutes. You were telling me jokes, singing songs and you also told me about your sister. I am really happy for your Rishi, that you have a younger sister to play with and give you company. You are so loving and you will enjoy company of a sibling. I did not have a sister but having a younger brother was so much fun, we used to play together, sometimes fight and yet be there for each other. My best childhood memories are with my younger brother and I love my brother. I am so glad he is in my life. Rishi, you are a big brother...congratulations!

Today's poem is called, " The Solitary Reaper" By William's Wordsworth. I came across this poem in when I was in 6th Grade. That time I did not understand it much but as I grew older I understand and feel the poem in my heart..I have realized sometimes we all are nothing but "Solitary Reapers" in this journey of life

The Solitary Reaper

By Williams Wordsworth

Be hold her, single in the field,

Yon solitary Highland Lass!

Reaping and signing by herself;

Stop here, or gently pass!

Alone she cuts and binds the grain,

And signs a melancholy strain;

O listen! for the Vale profound

Is overflowing the sound.

No Nightingale did ever chaunt

More welcome notes to weary bands

Of travellers in some shady haunt,

Among Arabian sands:

A voice so thrilling ne'er was heard

In spring-time from the Cuckoo-bird,

Breaking the silence of the seas

Among the farthest Hebrides.

Will no one tell me what she sings?-

Perhaps the plaintive numbers flow

For old, unhappy, far-off things,

And battles long ago;

Or is it some more humble lay,

Familiar matter of to-day?

Some natural sorrow, loss, or pain,

That has been and may again?

Whate'er the theme, the Maiden sang

As if her song could have no ending;

I saw her singing at her work,

And o'er the sickle bending;-

I listen'd, motionless and still;

And, as I mounted up the hill,

The music in my heart I bore.

Long after it was heard no more.

 

Rishi, I love you very much and miss you!

 

With lots of love, hugs and kisses,

 

Daddy

 

 

Invictus

My Dear Rishi,

We had a great chat on the weekend. You read from the book I gave you  "On The Day you were Born" By Nancy Tillman. I am really impressed and proud of you Rishi.  You remembered that I had pasted our pictures together and you could not see them anymore. Rishi, you know what you said to me finally, "Daddy, I love you forever where you are, wherever you go, my love will find you". Thank you Rishi! I love you and miss you!

Today's poem is called Invictus. In Latin, it means invincible, unconquered. William Ernest Henley, author of this poem wrote it when his one remaining foot was to be amputated, he was in lot of pain, the words flowed, "In the fell clutch of circumstances I have not winced nor cried aloud". In a very short life of twenty five years he had endured illness, poverty, pain and suffering...endless treatments and operations testing human courage to its limits. As he lay in his hospital bed, he promised himself, smiling and said, "But I won't give up! I won't give, no matter what happens. I thank god for unconquerable soul". I find this poem very appropriate for the emotional pain of missing you, not playing with you, not being part of your life as you grow.....Rishi, I won't give up on you, on us, our love, love between a father and child....I won't...I love you son.  I read this poem every day, sometimes every waking hour.....I find strength and courage to face another second.. Interestingly, enough Nelson Mandela, used to read the same poem, during apartheid regime in South Africa when he was imprisoned in Robben Island, isolated from his family, alone, in a dark and dingy cell.

Invictus

William Ernest Henley

 

Out of the night that covers me,

Black as the pit from pole to pole,

I thank whatever gods may be

For my unconquerable soul.

 

In the fell clutch of circumstance

I have not winced nor cried aloud.

Under the bludgeonings of chance

My head is bloody, but unbowed

 

Beyond this place of wrath and tears

Looms but the Horror of the shad,

And yet the menace of the years

Finds and shall find me unafraid.

 

It matters not how strait the gate,

How charged with punishments the scroll,

I am the master of my fate:

I am the captain of my soul

 

This poem has helped me and given me courage to face sorrow, pain and fear; and accept the blows of my fate, to triumph and raise like a Phoenix.  Yes, one thing  I have to admit though, I do weep when the pain of not being with you becomes too great to bare, which is at least once a day.





 

 



 

I love you Rishi and miss you!

 

 

With lots of love, hugs and kisses,

 

Daddy

A Psalm of Life

My Dear Rishi,

I enjoyed our conversatin on 13th morning for about 40 minutes.  You were full of life, we talked about your school, your freinds and the best part was you were imitating different animals especially the Asiatic Gibbon, you remembered from the time we visited in Singapore Zoo

 

Henry Wadsworth Longfellow, is one of my favourite poets. His poetry and his writing has influenced my life. One of his poems I love reading  is called, "A Psalm of Life". This poem became so famous it was translated into French, German, Italian, Portuguese, Dutch, Swedish, Danish and Sanskrit. I personally like this poem as its message is full of  faith and hope. This poem has helped me alot in the past five years. Hope, you also find this poem insprirational as many in this world.

 

 

A Psalm of Life

By Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

 

Tell me not, in mournful numbers,

Life is but an empty dream!-

For the soul is dead slumbers,

And things are not what they seem.

 

Life is real! Life is earnest!

And the grave is not its goal;

Dust thou art, to dust returnest,

Was not spoken of the soul.

 

Not enjoyment, and not sorrow,

Is our destined end or way;

But to act, that each tomorrow

Find us farther than today.

 

Art is long, Time is fleeting,

And our hearts, though stout and brave,

Still, like muffled drums, are beating

Funeral marches to the grave.

 

In the world's broad field of battle,

In the bivouac of Life,

Be not like dumb, driven cattle!

Be a hero in the strife!

 

Trust no Future, howe'er pleasant!

Let the dead Past bury its dead!

Act, _act in the living Present!

Heart within, and God o'erhead!

 

Lives of great men all remind us

We can make our lives sublime,

And, departing, leave behind us

Footprints on the sands of time,

 

Footprints, that perhaps another,

Sailing o'er life's solemn main,

A forlorn and shipwrecked brother,

Seeing, shall take heart again.

 

Let us, then, be up and doing,

With a heart for any fate;

Still achieving, still pursuing,

Learn to labor and to wait.

 

Rishi, this poem was quoted by Gandhi and one of his favourite line is (..."Things are not what they seem"). Hope poems like this guide you in your life.

 

 



 

With lots of love, hugs and kisses,

 

Love,

 

Daddy

 







Thanksgiving-Those

My Dear Rishi,

I enjoyed talking to you for about forty minutes on the weekend. You were laughing and making funny noises. Every time I hear your voice, your laughter it sustains me till the next time I get to talk to you.

 

Honey

 



Yesterday was thanksgiving in Canada. Honey and I spent time together. Once again I missed you, love! This thanksgiving, despite my personal loss. I have chosen to be thankful to what "is" in my life. Although you are so far away and I miss you very much, I am thankful for the fact that you are well taken care of, you are loved and you have family around you. Rishi, as a parent it is natural to expect to be with their children and be part of their growing up experience. However, it is much more important for a parent in my situation is to be is thankful that their children or child is loved, cared for and are safe. As a father, I need to go beyond my own emotional need and look at life from your need and your perspective as you are the future and I am the past. I am grateful and thankful that every time we talk you tell me I love you daddy...Thank you Rishi :)

 



Honey

Today's poem is from a book called Live Your Dash By Linda Ellis. The title of poem is "THOSE"

 

Those

By Linda Ellis

 

I write, not for those thankful

for an abundance of wealth,

for whom good fortune has blessed

their home and their health;

 

those who walk golden pathways

towards means and success...

a safe distance apart

from those who have less,

 

but instead for the people

who can see those with more

and still humbly count blessings

for which they are thankful for;

 

those whose journey through life

has been far from the best,

yet consider themselves

nonetheless, blessed;

 

those whose open hearts give

without asking why;

those who freely share water

when their own well is dry;

 

those who view neighbors' riches

with no envy or greed,

nor resent them for having

much more than they need.

 

Let us solemnly promise

a day shall not close

without being grateful

and thankful for Those....

 

Rishi, my personal view on gratitude and being thankful begins from the minute I open my eyes. If I can get up from my bed in the morning, I am grateful and thankful to the universe that I have a roof above my head and a bed to sleep. I am grateful and thankful for Honey's presence in my life. I am thankful and grateful for the fact that I am able to walk, talk and do my things. I am thankful and grateful for the fact that I have  love, good health, enough money to sustain myself and do things I like and more. I can go on and on about things I am thankful and grateful for. Rishi, I choose to live a life of GRATITUDE. In, "Conversations with God" author Neale Donald Walsch wrties, "The correct prayer is not prayer of supplication but prayer of GRATITUDE...". I hope, pray and wish you live a life of GRATITUDE and not a life of supplication.

 

I love you Rishi!!

 

With lots of love, hugs and kisses

 

Love,

Daddy